I'm a Christian woman, happily married to my best friend, Neal. We have 3 grown sons, Gary, Dale, and Carl, 3 sweet daughters-in-law, Chelsea, Janelle, and Emily, and 5 grandchildren, Rich, Jude, Amara, Jed, and Atlas! Neal preaches for the Cumberland Trace church of Christ in Bowling Green, KY. We love the Lord and His church!
Most of my tablecloths have a pretty side and a not so pretty side. If I sit down to eat with my family and notice that I put the tablecloth on wrong side up, I think, “Oops. Oh well, it’s just my family.” I’m a lot more careful when we have guests. I make sure they only see the pretty side. Shame on me. Of course I’m not really talking about tablecloths. I’m talking about those times when I act prettier for others than I do for my own dear family.
Shame on me when I snap in irritation at my husband or children. I would never dream of snapping at a neighbor or church member lest they think I’m unpleasant to be around.
Shame on me when I make my impatience obvious to my family but with everyone else I cover it up with a smile.
Shame on me when I use harsher words with my family to make a point but choose my words more carefully and tenderly with friends.
Shame on me when I roll my eyes when my husband asks me to do something for him but act all eager to please when others do the same.
My family deserves my prettier side. I do have one and I know how to display it when I think it matters. Why would I rob the ones who matter most of sweetness but go to great lengths to brighten up for everyone else? I prove my love for my family when I care enough to give them the best side of me.
Prayer for Today: May I daily cherish my family, Lord, by showing them the same grace and honor I extend to others.
“Hen-pecked” is great imagery because it’s easy to picture that sharp-beaked chicken peck, peck, pecking an innocent bystander. The Bible minces no words when describing the nagging woman. No one wants to be around her (Prov. 21:9) and she is as annoying as a continual drip on a rainy day (Prov. 27:15).
Godly wives try to avoid nagging. We don’t want to make our husbands miserable and we know God expects us to respect and honor them (Eph. 5:33). But I don’t think the home is the only place where nagging women can be found. Nagging involves persistent fault-finding, criticizing, grumbling, and harassing. If we’re not careful, we can become the constant dripping in the church. The shrew on the pew:
Watches members with a critical eye. You can see her lift her eyebrows when she spies a teen with an odd hairstyle or a youth minister laughing too loudly.
Knows what’s best for everyone. She tsk-tsks at the antics of young couples or the decisions made by the elders. She doubts most people really know what they’re doing.
Stirs up trouble. She can’t seem to help dropping a whispered word here and there questioning the character of unsuspecting brothers and sisters.
Is never satisfied. In her mind, no one calls enough, visits enough, or cares enough.
Doubts the sincerity of others. When others offer a kind word or gesture, she questions their motives or assumes they’re only duty-driven.
Harpies in the house of the Lord create an unwelcome, harsh environment. Women truly play a big role in the overall tone of the church. Am I compassionate and encouraging? Or am I quick to peck God’s family to death?
Prayer for Today:Thank you, Lord, for women who demonstrate Your love to all the saints.
Sometimes I feel overwhelmed by the knowledge that Neal and I are responsible for the three precious souls with which God has blessed us. Their physical care, their emotional well-being, and their spiritual training are daily being molded by our guidance and example. Even after 20 years of parenting, I still shake my head with the sheer import of that truth. But really, I think there is one significant thing that our children must know, must believe, must do in order to be set for life and for eternal life.They must always turn to the Word of God. No matter where my children end up or what circumstances they find themselves facing, I pray their knee-jerk reaction will be to open the Bible. Here are a few reasons why I think dependence on the Bible is the most important thing to instill in our children:
The Bible, and only the Bible, gives them the plan of salvation. It ultimately doesn’t matter what any professor, religious leader, parent or grandparent says…God is the only One who does the saving and so He is the only One who gets to tell us how that happens. And He has done that for us in His Word (Mark 16:16). The Bible teaches our children how to have a relationship with God, how to pray, how to be a genuine Christian (Matt. 7:21).
The Bible provides answers for their questions. Where did we come from? Why are we here? What is our purpose? Lots of people have lots of interesting ideas about these areas, but our Creator knows us better than we know ourselves (Psalm 33:13-15). Any who seek answers to life’s questions will be satisfied if they turn to the Bible (2 Peter 1:3).
The Bible helps them weather the storms. My children may one day face job loss, health problems, disappointments, powerful temptations, painful experiences, or marital strife. They will probably receive advice from well-meaning friends and loved ones or professionals, but only the Bible will enable them to survive. It will comfort them when distraught (Psalm 119:107), arm them for spiritual battle (Eph. 6:10ff), and help them remain faithful till death (Heb. 10:23).
The Bible determines what is right and what is wrong. Doesn’t that seem like an especially huge deal right now with social media, news anchors, outspoken celebrities and politicians all telling us what to believe and what to accept? Many people are embracing their feelings as their guide instead of what’s right and logical. If our children hear such convincing messages often enough from multiple avenues, they might question how so many could be so wrong. The Bible will warn our children about that (Matt. 7:13,14). If our children know to turn a deaf ear to the world and listen only to God, they will be able to discern the difference between Satan’s lies and God’s Truth (John 8:31,32).
Truly, there are many other reasons why it is so important for our children to feel dependent on the Bible. Job success, physical health, and becoming an upstanding citizen are all good and important. But the single most important thing I desire for my children is that they go to Heaven. How can we teach them to rely on the Bible? They must see us always turning to God’s Word in every situation. They must hear us answer their questions with, “Let’s see what the Bible says about that.” They must experience for themselves the genuine faith that comes from daily Bible study (Rom. 10:17). And after it’s all said and done, and they face Christ on their own, they will be judged by His Word.
“He who rejects Me, and does not receive My words, has that which judges him—the word that I have spoken will judge him in the last day” (John 12:48).
Prayer for Today: Lord, I beg You, help me instill complete trust in Your Word in the hearts of my children.
*This post can also be found at: http://proverbs14verse1.blogspot.com/2014/04/special-news-and-wise-woman-linkup.html
If you’re familiar with Instagram, you may know that there are certain types of pictures you post on certain days. Sunday is the day you’re supposed to share a picture that you’ve taken of yourself and so it’s called “Selfie Sunday.” I’m not going to pick on Instagram or make big deal out of that, but I do find it a little ironic that “Selfie Sunday” falls on the Lord’s day. All Instagram aside, I wonder if we are sometimes guilty of turning the Lord’s day into Selfie Sunday?
Am I so distracted by others around me or my own problems that I am disengaged during worship?
Do I ever feel like I am checking off my to-do list by putting in one hour of praise?
Do I take advantage of all the people I’ll see at worship by trying to promote my business or sell a product?
Am I too eager to get on with my day that I skip lingering and fellowshipping with my brothers and sisters in Christ?
Do I enable my own shyness by refusing to greet visitors or encourage those around me?
Once worship is over, do I go about my day without letting the words of the hymns and lessons penetrate my heart?
I enjoy reading about the early 1900’s, and I’ve learned that many Christians back then tried to devote their entire Sundays to God. Even after worship, they would study their Bibles in their own homes, find a quiet place to meditate, or gather with friends to sing songs. Doesn’t that sound spiritually refreshing? Is there anything wrong with watching a game on Sunday afternoon or getting some extra work done? Of course not. But I can’t help but think we might have things a little out of balance and that looking for ways to spend more time focusing on our Father and less time on ourselves couldn’t hurt.
“Ascribe to the Lord the glory due His name; worship the Lord in the splendor of holiness” (Psalm 29:2).
Prayer for Today: Thank you, Lord, for giving us a day each week in which we can worship and praise You for Your goodness and holiness.
Neal and I had the privilege of spending some time with a man who is a talented, well-known speaker, TV evangelist, university board member, and very beloved preacher, husband, and grandfather. This distinguished man spoke of a time when he would retire and have someone take his place. When I made some comment about the difficulty of finding a man brave enough to try and fill his big shoes, he said, “Ain’t no big deal.” He was absolutely serious. He wasn’t being falsely modest, but rather giving me a glimpse of the deep humility that has earned him the love and respect of all who know him. He really is a great man who has done great things and who is admired by a great many, but in his own eyes he “ain’t no big deal.” Just think how having that same kind of attitude could affect our own lives:
When I am slighted or rejected…
When I am ignored, neglected, overlooked…
When I am criticized…
When I don’t get the recognition I think I deserve…
Ain’t no big deal. If we are seeking to be servants of Christ, then HIS notice is all we need or crave. And He does notice (Jeremiah 17:10; Hebrews 4:13). Genuine humility affects other times in our lives, too:
When I am praised or lifted up…
When I am sought after…
When I am awarded…
When I am thanked…
Ain’t no big deal. While those feel-good moments can be gratifying, we know that everything we do is through God’s power and ability for the purpose of growing the kingdom. And prayerfully, we do it all for HIS glory (Matthew 5:16; Philippians 2:3). Neither vainglory nor false humility belong in Christian hearts.
Prayer for Today: Thank you, Lord, for exposing us to such a humble servant of Yours. May we all strive to have that genuine mind of Christ.
For years my favorite song has been “Living by Faith” because the words remind me not to worry when God is in control. Another song, however, has been on my heart lately. It was written in the early 1800’s, but I only learned it a couple of years ago. The song is “Prince of Peace, Control My Will.” The words of all four verses resonate with me. I pray these words for myself and for those I love, so I thought I’d share them with you today in case you’d like to do the same.
Prince of Peace, control my will; Bid the struggling heart be still; Bid my fears and doubtings cease, Hush my spirit into peace.
Thou hast bought me with Thy blood, Opened wide the gate to God; Peace I ask, but peace must be, Lord, in being one with Thee.
May Thy will, not mine, be done; May Thy will and mine be one; Chase these doubtings from my heart, Now Thy perfect peace impart.
Savior, at Thy feet I fall, Thou my life, my God, my all; Let Thy happy servant be One forevermore with Thee!
The words to this song have been attributed to both Mary Barber (1801-1884) and Mary Shindler (1810-1883). If you are unfamiliar with it, you can click on the link below to hear it.
Not only is it Monday, it’s Monday after the time change. What better time to stand out and make a difference?! Here’s a little checklist of ways we can shine the Light one day at a time, every day this week.
___ Smile warmly at everyone. Smile as soon as you see your spouse, your children, neighbors, co-workers, store clerks, teachers, bus drivers, and even the ones who are being inconsiderate.
___Offer sincere compliments. Thoughtful remarks warm hearts. Let’s remind others that Christians are kind. Let’s be the ones who use our speech to brighten someone’s day. “A compliment is verbal sunshine” (Robert Orben).
___Share the Word somehow. It can be done naturally. We can just slip it into routine conversations by saying something like, “That reminds me of a verse I read this morning…”
___Refrain from complaining. Everyone hears enough of it as it is. What will happen if we determine to go the entire day without voicing a single complaint? Those around us will be blessed and so will our own hearts.
___Focus on others. Maybe this one isn’t all that easy, but what an impact we can make by taking our minds off of ourselves! I’m tired. I don’t feel great. I’ve got a boatload of work to do. While those thoughts may be true, let’s focus more on everyone around us. She must be so tired…how can I make her life a little easier?
A short list is a manageable one. The things on this list aren’t rocket science, but they sure stand out. And at the end of each day we won’t regret the forethought and effort it took to look a little more like Christ.
“Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works and glorify your Father in heaven” (Matthew 5:16).
Prayer for Today: Be with us, Lord, as we look for ways to glorify You.
I watched my grandma ever so slowly succumb to Alzheimer’s. It started with what seemed like innocent forgetfulness or simply not paying attention. Then one day I was riding in the backseat of a car with her and she turned to me and fearfully asked, “Who are you?!” Almost from that moment on her family became strangers to her.
Grandma’s battle with Alzheimer’s was heart-wrenching, especially for her husband. Grandma, in her dementia, accused the man who had faithfully loved and cared for her of horrible things. She used ugly words and would say things that just weren’t true, as if she were rewriting their history. She forgot her love for him. She forgot their precious memories. It was tragic, but at least we all knew it wasn’t really Grandma.
Since Alzheimer’s is supposedly hereditary, I began researching how to prevent it. Now I park in different places in a parking lot, do crossword puzzles, change up the daily routine of getting dressed, eat certain foods, etc. I continue to look for ways to combat or at least delay it. I don’t want to put Neal through the painful things my grandpa endured.
Sometimes we suffer from marital Alzheimer’s. Amnesia is one of the first symptoms of Alzheimer’s. “Amnesia” is from the Greek, meaning “without memory.” If we’re not careful, there can be a memory deficit in our marriages.
We forget what drew us to our spouse in the first place.
We forget the vows we made, the good intentions we had.
We forget that marriage is a commitment in which there are God-given guidelines.
So we make harsh accusations or rewrite history. And then one day, after sleeping in the same bed with the same person for years, we wake up and ask, “Who ARE you?”
Perhaps you see some warning signs in your own marriage. Do you feel disconnected? Has intimacy become a distant memory? Do you have a hard time recalling when you last held hands? Thankfully, there are some ways we can prevent marital Alzheimer’s.
1. Take care of yourself. The better you feel physically, emotionally, and spiritually, the better you act. Eat right and exercise daily. Spend time in the Word. Pray often. Get rid of emotional downers like resentment, worry, or guilt by addressing them.
2. Stay connected. Invest quality time in your marriage by making it a priority and protecting it. The empty nest syndrome can catch couples off guard. Reconnect now so you’ll still know each other when it’s just the two of you. Make sure a portion of each day includes face to face time without the interference of devices. Ladies, this means we need to log out of Facebook or Pinterest when our husband comes home. We don’t want him to think we’d rather spend time connecting with hundreds of cyber friends than with him.
3. Take your vitamins. Just as there are several vitamins and supplements touted to prevent memory loss, there are things you can do to boost your relationship. Study the Bible together. Attend marriage seminars. Find out (again) what’s important to your spouse and invest in it.
4. Change up your routine. Is your marriage in a rut? Change things up by doing something different and unexpected. Dress up for supper (even if it’s pizza), light candles, or eat in a different room. Meet your spouse at work for a cup of coffee. Change your hairstyle. Go visiting together and call it a date. Be creative and think of ways to keep things fresh and interesting.
It’s heart-breaking to see someone in the advanced stages of Alzheimer’s. It’s painful for those who love that person, too. But it’s even more tragic to see a marriage succumb to forgotten love and lost memories. Let’s embrace our marriages so we can enjoy healthy closeness and happiness from the altar to the nursing home.
Prayer for Today: May we actively protect our marriages, Lord, by staying close to You and to each other.
You find what you’re looking for, right? I appreciate all those who use social media to encourage others and there are lots! Below you’ll find just a glimpse of all the good people I’ve seen this past week. Enjoy, and happy Monday!
1. Tweeted by Allen Webster:
“To free yourself from guilt, you must practice the 4 R’s:
Repentance Acts 8:22
Restitution Lk. 19:8
Reformation Rm. 6:4
Rejoicing Psa. 51:12“
2. Because I LOVE it when spouses encourage each other, here’s a post by Kara Davidson to her husband (with permission, of course):
“You did an amazing job with your sermons the past few weeks! Linder is so blessed to have two outstanding ministers! Love you!”
3. Beautiful, beautiful blog post about anxiety by Emily Hatfield…prepare to be touched:
4. Sweet friend Wendy Chesser keeping it real on facebook:
“Ya know, when you are asked to lead a prayer for a Ladies event (and you are too embarrassed to say no) and you want the truth about how you did….just ask your 14 year-old daughter, who replied to my asking, by saying, “Well, it was nice, but….you kinda’ made this giant sniff and everybody heard the snot rattle in your nose”…just like to apologize for that!!! ;O)”
5. From my favorite humorist, Celine Sparks:
“I thought I would count a different kind of sheep in order to get to sleep last night. I would think of a preacher for each letter of the alphabet (first name). I got all the way to Alan Highers.”
6. Under the category of Practical and Outstanding, Neal Pollard‘s blog article about what to do when you’re given the cold shoulder:
7. Wise facebook post from consummate encourager, Jeff Archey:
“I will praise thee; for I am fearfully and wonderfully made: marvelous are thy works; and that my soul knoweth right well” (Ps. 139:14). Was reading this AM and it brought to mind the commercial of the couple at the concert looking for their little boy and they looked on the stage and there he was…seated at the piano of the world renowned entertainer everyone gathered to see. The little boy was playing “Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star” as a child would when the entertainer walked up behind him, paused and looked and said, “Keep playing.” The famous pianist added in notes and melodies and it harmonized beautifully. Like that little child, we as children of God have days that may be gloomy and down; sometime boring to ourselves and others. But as we are “fearfully and wonderfully made,” our Father God grants us individuals and moments that brings forth the melodies in our lives and it harmonizes beautifully to His glory. Look for them daily…it starts with me…and you. Let’s keep playing…and keep living.”
8. New on the scene:
-Written by Christian young men, check out “Let No One Look Down” on facebook and at their blog site:
She’s young, beautiful, warm, and fun-loving. Pour a cup of coffee and enjoy this interview with Alicia Bookout, a sweet preacher’s wife and mother.
Kathy: Hi, Alicia! Please tell us a little about yourself.
Alicia: “Garrett and I met for the first time on January 28, 2006 at a get-together for the freshman at the Bear Valley Institute of Denver. He had just moved from TX. He asked some people about me, but was told I was younger than I actually was, so didn’t pursue. He later learned my real age (whew!) and a year later we fell hard for each other. We just celebrated 6 years of happy marriage!
Right after marriage we were given the excellent opportunity for Garrett to work as the Intern for Bear Valley church of Christ for two years. Our “mentors” (as we like to call them) were some people named Neal and Kathy Pollard. 😉 Since 2010 we have lived in Clovis, NM where Garrett is the pulpit Minister for the 16th and Pile church of Christ.
I’m blessed to get to stay at home with our two wonderful, fun and energetic kids, Emma (4 yrs) and Wesley (2 yrs).”
Kathy: You write for KatharosNOW. What’s that all about?
Alicia: “It is a blog aimed to encourage teenage girls to remain pure and clean (katharos) in this world. My sister-in-law started it a couple of years ago. Several different Christian women and young ladies from around the country write for it. I think it is a great resource for young ladies today.”
Kathy: Sounds wonderful! I know many will enjoy checking out http://katharosnow.com/
You fill many roles. Many young mothers struggle with feeling like they don’t have enough time to accomplish everything. What advice would you give them?
Alicia: “Pray and drink lots of coffee! I still struggle with this problem myself. One thing that has really helped is making daily lists. Especially on days that I feel overwhelmed. I will list at the top things that I absolutely have to get done that day and then add extras. If I get to the extra part of the list, that is great, if not, I really try to not lie in bed and stress about it. So many young moms (myself included) can run themselves ragged trying to make everything perfect. Some days it will just not be that way and that is ok. As long as you are taking care of your biggest jobs God has given you (hubby and children) then you are doing good. I would suggest though to NEVER allow your alone/quiet time with God to go on the “extras” part of your list. That has to be a priority daily or it will lead to more stressed and unaccomplished feelings (learned from experience).”
Kathy: What’s your favorite company meal?
Alicia: “Crockpot Shredded Italian Beef Sandwiches! It’s easy, can feed an army and something I grew up with so it always reminds me of home. I usually prepare Velveeta cheese dip to go along side so that you can smother your sandwich with it if you want. Needless to say, this is not a dish for those counting calories.”
Italian Beef Sandwiches
1 sirloin tip roast, rump roast, etc. (pork works good, too…cheaper!)
1 pkg. dry Italian Dressing (about 1 per 1 1/2 lbs of meat)
one can of Beef Broth
Put in Crockpot on low for 8ish hours (depends on how many pounds of meat you use). Shred and put on rolls!
Kathy: Would you mind sharing another favorite recipe with us?
Alicia: “I have too many favorite recipes so this question was one of the hardest to answer. Chocolate Éclair Cake kept coming to mind though. So easy to make and I could eat the entire pan if I’m not careful.
1 Box Graham Crackers
1 big box Instant Vanilla Pudding
1 8 oz. container Cool Whip
1 tub Chocolate Frosting
Make Pudding according to directions and mix the cool whip into the pudding. In a 9×13 dish layer graham crackers and top with pudding mixture. Make 3 layers ending with graham crackers as the top. Heat up your chocolate frosting and pour over the top of the graham crackers. Refrigerate for a couple hours and then gobble up!”
Kathy: As a busy mom of young children, how do you keep the spark alive in your marriage?
Alicia: “As newlyweds we were told a number of times “enjoy the romance before kids come along!”. Garrett and I were determined to not let our romance fizzle out once I got pregnant with our first. It definitely takes more work, but I truly believe that having kids has made us more in love and a stronger couple.
I would suggest DO NOT give up on your quiet time and dates! We love our kids to pieces but need our time together. We do this by making sure our kids have a strict bed time (8 pm in this house) so that we have nightly alone time. If you don’t have a babysitter for a date out on the town, one of our favorite things is in-home dates! After kids are in bed cook together, watch a movie, play a game, just get creative! Home dates can be cheaper, cozier, more fun and romantic than a night out.
Also, make sure even though most of your time is spent caring for the children, that you still let your hubby know that you think of him daily. Take time in your hectic day to flirt with him. Text messages, Facebook and phone calls are great ways for that. Get dressed up just for him occasionally. My sweet husband says my “mom outfits” (sweats, t-shirt with kid food and marker and pony tail) are cute, but I also know he doesn’t complain if I fix myself up. Little things that show him you care are always a good thing.”
Kathy: What is something about you that people might be surprised to know?
Alicia: “I was born in Okinawa, Japan and have lived in 9 different states. I was an “air force brat” growing up and loved the experience of seeing all sorts of new places and people!”
Kathy: When I think of you, I think of someone who’s joyful, warm, and real. I’m sure you deal with your fair share of stress and problems, so what’s your secret to maintaining these admirable traits?
Alicia: “I appreciate you saying that. I can definitely say I have not dealt with stress like I should at times and have to work on it a lot. My new favorite thing to do when I am feeling especially stressed, upset or anxious is to do a word search in scriptures. I use my bible program online (concordance works great too) and look up words like “comfort”, “worry” and “joy”. I will read most of the scriptures that pop up. Some of my favorites I end up reading a couple times throughout the day and even writing them out on sticky notes and putting them on my walls as reminders. It is amazing how much better I feel and how my attitude changes after I do this.”
Kathy: Thank you, Alicia! It’s been a real pleasure ‘chatting’ with you, and I appreciate your beautiful insight and wisdom. May God bless you and your sweet family as you shine for Him!
Life and Favor (Job 10:12) 