Tag: Parenting

52 Reasons to Love the Church

#20- Taking the Family to Worship

By Kathy Pollard

When we lived just outside Richmond, VA, Michael Shepherd came and held a gospel meeting for us. One night he preached about absolute truth and said, “Even a young child understands this principle.” He stepped down from the pulpit in the middle of his sermon and walked over to where we were sitting. He pointed to our five-year-old and said, “What’s two plus two?” Our son panicked and said, “I don’t know…I’m homeschooled!” Brother Shepherd said, “Son, you just ruined my illustration.” We still laugh about that moment. And tucked away in my heart are plenty more memories from worshiping with my family:

  • Slipping my young sons Cheerios one at a time to keep them still
  • A handmade “quiet book” from their Grandma Pollard
  • Singing “Because He Lives” the very first Sunday after having our youngest child and crying when we got to the verse, “How sweet to hold a newborn baby…”
  • Their giving styles: oldest son would place his change in the basket like a normal person; middle son would sling them in there like he was skipping stones; youngest son would drop them in one. at. a. time.
  • Adopted grandparents spoiling our kids
  • Singing in the car on the way to worship
  • A pair of red boots that each son wore after their older brother outgrew them
  • A son crushing on his pre-k Bible class teacher and then getting mad at her when she got married
  • A son belting out the “Ring It Out” part because those were the only words he knew in that song
  • Their first times doing the Scripture reading or serving on the Lord’s table or leading a song
  • Thinking how handsome they looked in their little button up shirts with freshly combed hair
  • The moment in each of their lives when they said, “I want to be baptized.”

I could go on and on. It wasn’t always easy. Sometimes I felt like the service was a blur because I spent the whole time wrangling little boys. But that phase didn’t last very long and was followed by years of meaningful worship. I don’t know how it went by so fast and my heart aches with the missing of it. Now those boys are grown (still wearing boots) and leading their own families to worship. I think about what Sunday mornings in their homes must look like. I imagine it looks a lot like ours used to, trying to get everyone fed and dressed and out the door on time. Perhaps a little frazzled by the time they get in the car. They’re just getting started, and I pray they’ll give themselves some grace and soak in the moments, even the messy ones.

Worship looks a little different for me these days as Neal is the only family sitting with me on the pew. But I LOVE seeing other young families all around me and hearing their children sing. I love knowing that the whole church is my family and we always get to worship together. And I especially love it when the grand babies come to visit and I get to experience the wonder of worship through their eyes all over again.

“But as for me and my household, we will serve the Lord.”

(Joshua 24:15)

What I’ve Learned About Parenting Since My Kids Left Home

By Kathy Pollard

Neal and I became official empty nesters in late June 2018. I knew it would take time to adjust to the new norm. I anticipated moments of sadness because it all went by way too fast. And I had already been warned that you never stop worrying about your kids. What I didn’t expect was that I would learn some significant things about parenting. Here is what I know now that I wish I knew then.

Family traditions are important, but maybe not the ones you think. There were some traditions we intentionally created. We had nightly devotionals with our boys. We had the same breakfast every Christmas morning. The birthday boy always got to choose what was for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. I thought that was pretty much how traditions were made, but now I know it was more than that. Anytime our sons come for a visit, I try to make some of their favorite dishes. Recently, one of them said, “Did you use a different peanut butter or something in that icing?” I had. Also recently I made a chocolate cake and one of our sons put his slice in the fridge to eat later. I asked him if he thought it tasted better chilled. He said, “No, that’s just how you always used to serve it so that’s how I want to eat it.” They don’t want me to change things up because it’s just not the same. This tells me that family traditions don’t necessarily have to be so planned. They are created in the daily living that goes on in the home. One of our intentional traditions was watching “A Christmas Carol” (George C. Scott version!) every Christmas Eve. We found out none of them even liked that movie. 

There is no such thing as too much communication. We home schooled our boys and I was a stay-at-home mom. Perhaps I assumed those two choices would’ve guaranteed plenty of openness and watchfulness. I thought I was pretty aware of all that was going on in their lives. Now that they’re on their own, our sons have been sharing stories of their shenanigans while growing up. My reaction is often, “You did what?!” In fact, one of our sons used the word “clueless” to describe my parenting. Ouch. He wasn’t even being mean because he was laughing so hard when he said it. In addition, I’ve heard our sons refer back to times of sadness or emotional struggles. My heart aches to know I wasn’t even aware of some of them. I want to rewind the clock and have a do-over. I want to have a heart-to-heart with the young mom I used to be. Truly, it is so important to do whatever it takes to develop closeness, trust, and openness.  Take the time. Put down the phone. Keep your eyes open. Have the conversations. 

God helps fill in the gaps. I knew there were aspects of parenting that I could and should have done better. And now I can add to that list as I’ve learned of other areas where I dropped the ball. But as I look at my sons today I can’t help but thank God for His goodness. He loves them even more than I do and always will. I wasn’t a perfect parent but I was a praying parent. God always saw the big picture and helped my boys along. I have never been more thankful for His grace. I am thankful for the love and grace from my sons, too. Perhaps you feel like you are falling short or have made mistakes. Just keep trying and loving and going to God’s Word for guidance. He only wants you to do the best you can to turn the hearts of your children over to Him.

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Out of Control

I just watched my youngest son almost get into an accident.  It is an overcast, rainy afternoon and Carl was driving behind me.  I glanced in the rearview mirror to check on him and, to my horror, he was no longer on the road.  Carl hydroplaned while pulling out onto the street and lost control of the car.  When I saw him, he was on the sidewalk on the far side of the road about to hit a pole.  He swerved out of the way which threw him back into the street.  For the longest half minute of my life, I watched Carl try to right the car as he jerkily swerved back and forth from one lane to the other.  There was traffic both ways and I thought, “My baby is going to die.”  I heard myself screaming, “Caaaaarl!”

My hands are still shaking as I type this.  I apologize for the drama of this post, but I wanted to write while the feelings are still fresh.  Thankfully, all traffic was able to move off the road to avoid hitting Carl.  Thankfully, he was able to finally gain control and pull over into a parking lot.  I have never felt more helpless than I did as I watched my “baby” fight for his life.

So now I’m overwhelmed with fear.  I never ever, never ever (NEVER) want Carl to drive again.  How am I supposed to keep from replaying that scene in my mind the next time he gets behind the wheel?

Somehow my guys aren’t nearly as shaken up.  I drove straight to Neal’s office and sobbed on his shoulder.  I said, “Carl could’ve been killed!”  Neal said, “But he wasn’t.”  I told Carl I had just finished praying for God to keep him safe when I saw him lose control of the car.  He said, “And He did.”  While I was shaking from head to toe and imagining what could have happened, Carl said, “I’m glad Dad’s car is okay!”

The truth of the matter is that it was probably a good thing ultimately.  Carl just gained some valuable experience with driving, rain, hydroplaning, and overcorrecting.  He’ll be better prepared if he’s ever in that kind of situation again.  My mind knows that but my heart is protesting.

Honestly, this has been the hardest part of parenting for me.  Losing control.  My sons are grown and nearly grown.  I’m watching them make decisions, make mistakes, sin, or flounder around as they try to figure out their own lives.  What I want to do is have complete control again. They could get hurt!  But I know they’re growing and gaining valuable experience.  I know that they are capable and good.  I also know that while they will never stop being my sons, they really belong to their heavenly Father.  And He is always in perfect control.

“I know that You can do everything,

and that no purpose of Yours can be withheld from You” (Job 42:2).

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Photo cred: Carl Pollard (I look like my grandpa in this pic)

Boys to Men

I know I am not the first mom to face an empty nest, so why does it feel like I am?  I knew my sons would grow up, but it’s as if I’ve discovered a surprising and disconcerting fact– Time does not listen to me!  It won’t slow down.  I can’t put it on “pause” until I’m ready for it to move on.  I can’t go back in time to redo some things I’m just now figuring out.

Okay, so I know I haven’t discovered anything new.  I know I was even warned of this by other moms who had already experienced it.  They made comments to me when my boys were babies and toddlers.  “Enjoy it while you can!”  “This will all go by so fast!”  But I don’t recall them telling me that mixed in with the pride and joy would be this unnerving sense of fear and doubt.  I know I made mistakes as a mom.  I can look back and see inadequacies and laziness.  And I don’t recall them telling me that my heart would begin constantly replaying mental videos of rocking my small boys, reading to them, and listening to their childish prayers.  Why didn’t one of those moms grab me by the shoulders, look me in the eyes and say, “Make the MOST of every single day.  I’m serious!”

This past Sunday I watched our firstborn son, Gary, participate in the graduation ceremony of the Bear Valley Bible Institute.  I think I kept shaking my head as he walked down the aisle.  Didn’t I just have him?  Then Sunday night I watched our youngest son, Carl, preach a sermon.  He didn’t need the little step stool to see over the pulpit.  He looked and sounded like a grown man.  When did that happen?  How is it possible that my baby will be a senior this fall?  And this very afternoon we will take our middle son, Dale, to the airport.  He is going to Alaska to begin a summer internship with a church in Anchorage.  Did you know it’s over 3,000 miles from here?  I don’t think a state that’s one of ours should be allowed to be that far away.  With all of these events, I just want to grab each of them, pull them close, and hug them fiercely.  I have one continual prayer, “God, please! Be with them.  Help them always put you first!”

For years I’ve been meaning to write each of my boys a letter to read in the event of my death.  I’ve been putting it off because I knew it would be an emotional undertaking.  I finally did it a couple of weeks ago.  It took me five hours to write three letters.  I gave it to them on my birthday since it’s possible they could be senior citizens before I die, and I want them to know my hopes for them before then.  None of them wanted to read their letter.  Carl finally opened his a few days later.  Then Gary was next.  Dale still hasn’t read his.  He has only gone as far as opening the corner of the envelope.

And that brings me to the point of this post (finally).  As I wrote those letters and thought about what I wanted to impress the most upon my children, it amazed me how easily it was to figure out.  It all boils down to the past, present, and future.

  • Past:  I have loved them with all my heart from the very beginning.  God has loved them even longer than that.
  • Present:  My only desire is that they will love God with all their heart and serve Him with all their might.
  • Future:  I want to see them in Heaven.

With their whole upbringing condensed to these truths, it seems that parenting has never had to be overly complicated.  It’s really all about taking the time to focus on what truly matters.

Gary, Dale, and Carl May 31, 2015
Gary, Dale, and Carl
May 31, 2015

 

 

 

10 Things I Want My Sons to Have When They Leave Home

Our sons are almost 21, almost 19, and 16 years old.  I want them to be happy and healthy, but more than anything, I want them to have their own genuine relationship with God.  Here are 10 things I pray they will have when they leave home:

I.  HONESTY

God is love, so when I hear that He hates something, it catches my attention.  Proverbs 6:16-19 lists seven things God hates, and lying is mentioned twice!  Honesty tops my list of Ten Things because of what honesty prevents:

  • Deceiving self.  Self-honesty is crucial to personal Christianity.  How will my sons know if they’re in a right relationship with God if they’re deceiving themselves in their self-evaluation (1 Cor. 11:28)?  The Bibles says, “Test yourselves” (2 Cor. 13:5).  The very word test implies honesty.
  • Making excuses.  Excuses are cover-ups for short-comings.  They’re what we come up with when we try to remove the blame or responsibility for something.  ”Excuses are the nails used to build a house of failure.”  I want my sons to build their houses on the rock.  According to Jesus, that means they will hear His words and DO them, not make excuses for what they’re not doing (Matt. 7:24).
  • Moral Dilemmas.  Dishonesty leads to moral dilemmas in so many areas of life– business relations, taxes, academics, moral ethics.  Dishonesty produces a life of double standards.
  • Distrust.  One lie can destroy years of trust, trust that will take a long time to be restored.  A dishonest person won’t have good relationships with coworkers, with elders, with his wife & children, or with his church family.

II.  PURITY OF HEART

As a mother of three boys, I’ve felt many moments of indignation at all the sexual impurity bombarding us from all sides.  Purity of heart made my list of Ten Things because if my sons don’t have pure hearts:

  • They won’t see God (Matt. 5:8).
  • They will be in a war waging against their soul (1 Pet. 2:11).
  • They will be instruments of unrighteousness (Rom. 6:13).
  • They will not inherit the kingdom of God (Gal. 5:19-21).

With our sex-saturated society, the idea of raising pure-hearted boys may seem to be an uphill battle against overwhelming odds.  But our young men need to know that God’s promise still holds true:  “No temptation has overtaken you except such as is common to man; but God is faithful, who will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able, but with the temptation will also make the way of escape, that you may be able to bear it” (1 Cor. 10:13).

III.  COMPASSION

My sons will be guilty of hypocrisy if they’re big on keeping the law but lack compassion (Matt. 23:23).  Some do what they’re supposed to do and say what they’re supposed to say, but they’re hard on others.  They speak harshly of the shortcomings of others and act morally superior.  This is a heart problem.

Compassion will motivate my sons to see the good in others, to look for ways to build up and encourage, to see souls as the Savior does (Mark 6:34).

IV.  HUMILITY

If my boys leave home without humility, they leave home without having the mind of Christ (Phil. 2:5-8).  Humility had to make my list of Ten Things because without it, my sons will head for destruction and dishonor (Prov. 18:12).  Humility affects their very relationship with God:

  • How close they’ll be to Him (Psa. 138:6,7)
  • Whether or not they’ll be guided & taught by Him (Psa. 25:9)
  • Whether or not they receive His grace (James 4:6)
  • Whether or not they’ll be exalted by Him (2 Pet. 5:6)

V.  SELF-MOTIVATION

Laziness can become a lifestyle.  In my [humble] opinion, there are a few habits that prevent men from really making a difference:

  • Dressing sloppily because they’re too lazy to tidy up
  • Keeping a disorganized office or work space
  • Being late to work or appointments; missing deadlines
  • Needing someone else to prod them along in order to complete assignments or commitments

Self-motivation, on the other hand, promotes:

  • The ability to tackle hard things instead of avoiding them
  • Discipline in areas of time-management, healthy eating, and exercise
  • The internal drive to always do their best
  • The desire to look for ways to serve and be involved, instead of waiting to be asked or waiting for someone else to take care of it
  • The wisdom to know when to ask for help instead of making excuses

VI.  GRATITUDE

Gratitude is the opposite of self-pity.  I don’t want every conversation my sons have to revolve around how hard things are for them.  I don’t want them to be needy for attention and sympathy.  I don’t want them to have a difficult time being happy and content.  They can’t be grateful and feel sorry for themselves at the same time!

Gratitude sees the blessings in life and sees problems as opportunities for growth.  Self-pity thinks, “Woe is me,” while gratitude quietly waits for God to fulfill His purpose in difficult situations.

My sons are going to face difficulties.  They’re going to be treated unfairly.  They’re going to be disillusioned at times.  Their mindset will determine how they handle it.  They can wallow in self-pity and complain about their circumstances, or they can be grateful for what they have, Who provides for them, and where they are going (1 Thess. 5:18; Phil. 4:11).

VII.  RESPECT FOR AUTHORITY

If my sons are allowed to disrespect authority in the home, they will carry that disrespect into the rest of their lives.  God commands His people to show respect for authority:

  • Children to parents (Eph. 6:1,2)
  • Wife to husband (Eph. 5:22-24)
  • Members to elders (Heb. 13:17)
  • Citizens to government (1 Pet. 2:13-17)
  • Servants to master (Eph. 6:5-8)

When rebellious men in the Lord’s church disagree with a decision made by the elders, they’ll say, “I don’t care what they say; I’m going to do it the way I want.”  Obviously these men were never taught to respect authority.  I want my sons to understand the importance of respecting authority even in times when they think those in authority are being unreasonable.  Those in authority who abuse their position will one day answer to God.  My sons need to make sure their own actions glorify God.

VIII.  FRIENDLINESS

Concerning friendliness, someone wrote, “It’s amazing what a warming influence it can have on an otherwise dreary world.”

Whether they’re going off to college, visiting a new congregation, or greeting their future in-laws, I want my sons to be able to initiate warmth and friendliness.  I want them to be quick to smile, greet, and assume the best in others.  I don’t want them to sit back and wait for others to approach them.

IX.  COMMITMENT

A lack of commitment will make my sons give up when their marriage relationship gets rocky.  It will make them neglect evangelism after only a few rejections.

Commitment will keep my sons from giving up or giving in.  It will be what keeps them going back to a job they dislike so they can pay the bills.  It will keep them knocking on doors to set up Bible studies.  It will motivate them to make the right choices and say the right things regardless of how they feel.  It is 1 Corinthians 15:58 lived out on a daily basis.
X.  FAITH
When my sons leave home, I want them to have a real, personal, genuine faith.
  • When my sons hear something different from what they’ve always been taught, where will they turn for answers?  My prayer is that they’ll always turn to God’s Word to define and secure their faith (Rom. 10:17).
  • When my sons feel discouraged, who will they lean on?  My prayer is that they’ll lean on the Lord (1 Pet. 5:7).
  • When they feel like they’re all alone in terms of moral convictions, what will they do?  My prayer is that they’ll have the courage to stand for what’s right even if no one stands with them.

For the faith of my sons to be real and enduring, it must be built on Scripture.  Not on family traditions or feelings.  Not on the level of love we have for them.  Not on our level of good works, or theirs.  For their faith to be living & powerful, it must be rooted in the Word of God (Heb. 4:16).

My sons may be in a new environment, but God’s Word will remain the same.  They may be surrounded by new people, but God’s Word will still hold true.  They may be tested in ways they’ve never been tested before, but God’s Word will always carry them through.  IF it’s the foundation of their faith.

Prayer for Today:  Lord, you know my daily prayer is that my sons will always put You first.

*This post can now also be found at A Wise Woman Builds.

Do I Help Others Thank God?

We are spending time together as a family, all five of us, and I am soaking it all in.  I am mindful of the many reasons to thank God for family, for love, for commitment, and for memories.  I am thanking God for the reminder to treasure the here and now and to embrace His gifts.  Even when facing difficulties or experiencing hardships, God showers us with reasons to enjoy the pleasurable sensation of gratitude.  Because of that, I want to be more diligent in showering others with reasons to look up and praise God.

  • With my husband, may I daily give him reasons to thank God for our marriage.  This means each morning I must renew the commitment to love unconditionally.
  • With my sons, may I help them see God’s forgiveness, patience, and tenderness by offering those consistently as their parent.  My love for them should make it easier for them to understand God’s love for them.
  • With my fellow Christians, may I give them reasons to praise God for companionship, encouragement, and sincere interest.  What a unique blessing the Lord’s church is!  May I do my part to help others remember that.
  • With those in my community, may I look for ways to cause them to pause and look up, to see God as the source of all good.  This means I must look like His Son as much as possible by being friendly, by being unselfish.  I can’t live unto myself but must look around with interest in the souls around me.

Today is always the beginning of our future.  I pray that I will do so much better in showering others with reasons to thank God.  Nothing is more important than making sure my life (my actions and my attitude) makes it easier for others to see God.

Prayer for Today:  Thank You, Lord, for showering me with reasons to praise You.  Please help me do better at intentionally helping others see You.

Perhaps the Most Important Thing We Must Teach Our Children

Sometimes I feel overwhelmed by the knowledge that Neal and I are responsible for the three precious souls with which God has blessed us.  Their physical care, their emotional well-being, and their spiritual training are daily being molded by our guidance and example.  Even after 20 years of parenting, I still shake my head with the sheer import of that truth.  But really, I think there is one significant thing that our children must know, must believe, must do in order to be set for life and for eternal life.  They must always turn to the Word of God.  No matter where my children end up or what circumstances they find themselves facing, I pray their knee-jerk reaction will be to open the Bible.  Here are a few reasons why I think dependence on the Bible is the most important thing to instill in our children:

  • The Bible, and only the Bible, gives them the plan of salvation.  It ultimately doesn’t matter what any professor, religious leader, parent or grandparent says…God is the only One who does the saving and so He is the only One who gets to tell us how that happens.  And He has done that for us in His Word (Mark 16:16).  The Bible teaches our children how to have a relationship with God, how to pray, how to be a genuine Christian (Matt. 7:21).
  • The Bible provides answers for their questions.  Where did we come from?  Why are we here?  What is our purpose?  Lots of people have lots of interesting ideas about these areas, but our Creator knows us better than we know ourselves (Psalm 33:13-15).  Any who seek answers to life’s questions will be satisfied if they turn to the Bible  (2 Peter 1:3).
  • The Bible helps them weather the storms.  My children may one day face job loss, health problems, disappointments, powerful temptations, painful experiences, or marital strife.  They will probably receive advice from well-meaning friends and loved ones or professionals, but only the Bible will enable them to survive.  It will comfort them when distraught (Psalm 119:107), arm them for spiritual battle (Eph. 6:10ff), and help them remain faithful till death (Heb. 10:23).
  • The Bible determines what is right and what is wrong.  Doesn’t that seem like an especially huge deal right now with social media, news anchors, outspoken celebrities and politicians all telling us what to believe and what to accept?  Many people are embracing their feelings as their guide instead of what’s right and logical.  If our children hear such convincing messages often enough from multiple avenues, they might question how so many could be so wrong.  The Bible will warn our children about that (Matt. 7:13,14).  If our children know to turn a deaf ear to the world and listen only to God, they will be able to discern the difference between Satan’s lies and God’s Truth (John 8:31,32).

Truly, there are many other reasons why it is so important for our children to feel dependent on the Bible.  Job success, physical health, and becoming an upstanding citizen are all good and important.  But the single most important thing I desire for my children is that they go to Heaven.  How can we teach them to rely on the Bible?  They must see us always turning to God’s Word in every situation.  They must hear us answer their questions with, “Let’s see what the Bible says about that.”  They must experience for themselves the genuine faith that comes from daily Bible study (Rom. 10:17).  And after it’s all said and done, and they face Christ on their own, they will be judged by His Word.

“He who rejects Me, and does not receive My words, has that which judges him—the word that I have spoken will judge him in the last day” (John 12:48).

Prayer for Today:  Lord, I beg You, help me instill complete trust in Your Word in the hearts of my children.

*This post can also be found at:  http://proverbs14verse1.blogspot.com/2014/04/special-news-and-wise-woman-linkup.html

Meet Alicia Bookout! (a Christian woman interview & recipe)

She’s young, beautiful, warm, and fun-loving.  Pour a cup of coffee and enjoy this interview with Alicia Bookout, a sweet preacher’s wife and mother.

Kathy:  Hi, Alicia!  Please tell us a little about yourself.

Alicia:  “Garrett and I met for the first time on January 28, 2006 at a get-together for the freshman at the Bear Valley Institute of Denver. He had just moved from TX. He asked some people about me, but was told I was younger than I actually was, so didn’t pursue.  He later learned my real age (whew!) and a year later we fell hard for each other. We just celebrated 6 years of happy marriage!

Right after marriage we were given the excellent opportunity for Garrett to work as the Intern for Bear Valley church of Christ for two years. Our “mentors” (as we like to call them) were some people named Neal and Kathy Pollard. 😉 Since 2010 we have lived in Clovis, NM where Garrett is the pulpit Minister for the 16th and Pile church of Christ.

I’m blessed to get to stay at home with our two wonderful, fun and energetic kids, Emma (4 yrs) and Wesley (2 yrs).” 

Kathy:  You write for KatharosNOW.  What’s that all about?

Alicia:  “It is a blog aimed to encourage teenage girls to remain pure and clean (katharos) in this world. My sister-in-law started it a couple of years ago. Several different Christian women and young ladies from around the country write for it. I think it is a great resource for young ladies today.”

Kathy:  Sounds wonderful!  I know many will enjoy checking out http://katharosnow.com/

You fill many roles. Many young mothers struggle with feeling like they don’t have enough time to accomplish everything. What advice would you give them?

Alicia:  “Pray and drink lots of coffee! I still struggle with this problem myself. One thing that has really helped is making daily lists. Especially on days that I feel overwhelmed. I will list at the top things that I absolutely have to get done that day and then add extras. If I get to the extra part of the list, that is great, if not, I really try to not lie in bed and stress about it. So many young moms (myself included) can run themselves ragged trying to make everything perfect. Some days it will just not be that way and that is ok. As long as you are taking care of your biggest jobs God has given you (hubby and children) then you are doing good. I would suggest though to NEVER allow your alone/quiet time with God to go on the “extras” part of your list. That has to be a priority daily or it will lead to more stressed and unaccomplished feelings (learned from experience).” 

Kathy:  What’s your favorite company meal?

Alicia:  “Crockpot Shredded Italian Beef Sandwiches! It’s easy, can feed an army and something I grew up with so it always reminds me of home. I usually prepare Velveeta cheese dip to go along side so that you can smother your sandwich with it if you want. Needless to say, this is not a dish for those counting calories.”

Italian Beef Sandwiches

  • 1 sirloin tip roast, rump roast, etc. (pork works good, too…cheaper!)
  • 1 pkg. dry Italian Dressing (about 1 per 1 1/2 lbs of meat)
  • one can of Beef Broth

Put in Crockpot on low for 8ish hours (depends on how many pounds of meat you use). Shred and put on rolls!

Kathy:  Would you mind sharing another favorite recipe with us? 

Alicia:  “I have too many favorite recipes so this question was one of the hardest to answer. Chocolate Éclair Cake kept coming to mind though. So easy to make and I could eat the entire pan if I’m not careful.

  • 1 Box Graham Crackers
  • 1 big box Instant Vanilla Pudding
  • 1 8 oz. container Cool Whip
  • 1 tub Chocolate Frosting 

Make Pudding according to directions and mix the cool whip into the pudding. In a 9×13 dish layer graham crackers and top with pudding mixture. Make 3 layers ending with graham crackers as the top. Heat up your chocolate frosting and pour over the top of the graham crackers. Refrigerate for a couple hours and then gobble up!”

 Kathy:  As a busy mom of young children, how do you keep the spark alive in your marriage? 

Alicia:  “As newlyweds we were told a number of times “enjoy the romance before kids come along!”. Garrett and I were determined to not let our romance fizzle out once I got pregnant with our first. It definitely takes more work, but I truly believe that having kids has made us more in love and a stronger couple. 

 I would suggest DO NOT give up on your quiet time and dates! We love our kids to pieces but need our time together. We do this by making sure our kids have a strict bed time (8 pm in this house) so that we have nightly alone time. If you don’t have a babysitter for a date out on the town, one of our favorite things is in-home dates! After kids are in bed cook together, watch a movie, play a game, just get creative! Home dates can be cheaper, cozier, more fun and romantic than a night out.

Also, make sure even though most of your time is spent caring for the children, that you still let your hubby know that you think of him daily. Take time in your hectic day to flirt with him. Text messages, Facebook and phone calls are great ways for that. Get dressed up just for him occasionally. My sweet husband says my “mom outfits” (sweats, t-shirt with kid food and marker and pony tail) are cute, but I also know he doesn’t complain if I fix myself up.  Little things that show him you care are always a good thing.”

Kathy:  What is something about you that people might be surprised to know? 

Alicia:  “I was born in Okinawa, Japan and have lived in 9 different states. I was an “air force brat” growing up and loved the experience of seeing all sorts of new places and people!”

Kathy:  When I think of you, I think of someone who’s joyful, warm, and real. I’m sure you deal with your fair share of stress and problems, so what’s your secret to maintaining these admirable traits?

Alicia:  “I appreciate you saying that. I can definitely say I have not dealt with stress like I should at times and have to work on it a lot. My new favorite thing to do when I am feeling especially stressed, upset or anxious is to do a word search in scriptures. I use my bible program online (concordance works great too) and look up words like “comfort”, “worry” and “joy”. I will read most of the scriptures that pop up. Some of my favorites I end up reading a couple times throughout the day and even writing them out on sticky notes and putting them on my walls as reminders. It is amazing how much better I feel and how my attitude changes after I do this.” 

Kathy:  Thank you, Alicia!  It’s been a real pleasure ‘chatting’ with you, and I appreciate your beautiful insight and wisdom.  May God bless you and your sweet family as you shine for Him!

Alicia & her husband Garrett

 

From the Mouths of Teen Girls

The following comments were made by Christian teen girls at an out-of-state retreat.  They were asked some questions in a very casual setting.  I was just an observing visitor, but I was struck by their determination and sincerity so I started writing down their answers.

Sometimes we let teen girls down, assuming they need the same lessons on modesty, purity, and peer pressure.  While those lessons need to be taught, I think Christian teen girls crave deeper Bible study.  They want to be pushed to their spiritual potential.  Their hearts are thinking about ways to make a difference in their sphere of influence.  I was challenged and convicted by what they had to say and I think you will be, too.  Here are the questions and their answers:

*What is the Lord’s greatest rival in your life?

  •  “School is more of a priority than spiritual growth.”
  • “Selfishness–doing things on my terms, not His terms.”
  • “Cramming so much into my schedule, but God isn’t one of them.”
  • “Questioning God during situations instead of believing Him.”
  • “More time on entertainment instead of Bible study.”
  • “My friends–wanting to be like them instead of realizing God always trumps my friends.”
  • “My priorities–God can’t just be another priority, but the center of all my activities.”

*What are some ways you fight temptation in your life?

  •  “Just say no.”
  • “Walk past trouble.”
  • “Stay far away from negative influences.”
  • “Letting go of friends who make bad choices.”
  • “Pray constantly and surround myself with godly influences; change the atmosphere.”
  • “Have a person that will help you make right decisions.”

*What can your parents do to help you get closer to Christ?

  •  “Stop letting me make everything else a priority.”
  • “Tell me NO when I need to hear it.”
  • “Push me, remind me that my faith is what’s most important.”
  • “Simply ask me, ‘How’s your relationship with Christ?’  Checking in…”
  • “Use Scripture to help me apply things personally in my life.”
  • “We don’t go to any church activities outside of worship.  I wish they would push harder.”
  • “Sit down and study with me.  Set the example.”
  • “More Bible studies as a family.”
  • “If I’m too tired to go to devotionals, push me.”
  • (With tears) “I feel like just by making it more of a priority in my dad’s life would make it easier for all of us.  Skipping church makes it look like an option instead of a priority.”

*If you had one day left to live, what would you change?

  •  “I’d fix things that ruin my influence.”
  • “Say sorry for the things I’ve done.  Reach out to people.”
  • “Be more outgoing with my faith.  Set everything right with God.”
  • “Tell others why I love them.  Find some way to serve on my last day.”
  • “Tell everyone about the Lord.  Apologize to my family.”
  • “I’d realize nothing else matters but sharing the gospel.  I wouldn’t wait for the ‘right time.'”
  • “I’d tell everyone I’m saved, where I’m going, and that I want them there, too.”
  • “I would ask everyone, ‘Do you know if you’re going to Heaven?'”

Let no one despise your youth,

but be an example to the believers

in word, in conduct, in love, in spirit, in faith, in purity.

(1 Timothy 4:12)

Prayer for Today:  Thank you, Lord, for the teen girls in our lives.  Help us to treasure them, encourage them, and learn from them.

This post can also be found at http://proverbs14verse1.blogspot.com/2014/02/wise-woman-linkup_18.html

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Higher Ground snapshot (Not the young ladies whose answers I shared)

I’m Ruining Our Children

A couple of weeks ago I sent my husband a pathetic email.  It went something like this:

Dear Neal,

[A long paragraph here about how I think I’m ruining our children.]

Love,

Dummy-head

You see, that day I was feeling particularly incompetent.  Our youngest son was struggling with one of the questions in his 10th grade grammar book.   I ended up having to tell him, “I’m sorry, I can’t figure it out, either.  Just skip this one.”  You should’ve seen the look on his face.  That wasn’t the first time that has happened, but usually it’s math that has me stumped.  I felt unqualified and unequal to the task.  I wanted to quit.  Thankfully, my husband knew exactly what to say to encourage me and that made all the difference.  He reminded me of the big picture, our end goals, and the fact that I can rely on God for help even when trying to figure out 10th grade grammar.  I’m grateful that I don’t have to be brilliant to homeschool my sons!

Have you ever found yourself unequal to a task?  Do you say no to opportunities because you feel like you’re the wrong person for the job or you’re not good enough?  Perhaps someone asked you for parenting advice and all you can think about is how you’re still trying to figure it out yourself.  Perhaps someone asked you to teach a Bible class, but you’re all too aware of your spiritual weaknesses.  Or perhaps someone asked you to speak about your Christian walk and you feel like a hypocrite because you know you’ve messed up, hurt others, sinned big time.      The truth is perhaps you’re not qualified, but God is.  We can help others because He helps us. We make mistakes and don’t always know what to say or do, but we can rely on God’s wisdom and strength to tackle a task anyway (1 Chron. 16:11; Psa. 31:24; 2 Cor. 12:9,10).   I’m glad I don’t have to be perfectly sinless to shine the Light!

By the way, here was Neal’s reply to my whiney email:

Dear Kathy,

[A long paragraph here filled with sweet encouragement.]

Love,

Lucky-head

Prayer for Today:  May I never let doubt or discouragement keep me from serving You, Lord.

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**This post can also be found at http://proverbs14verse1.blogspot.com/2014/02/wise-woman-linkup_11.html