Tag: speech

The Harmful Effects of Pessimism

By Janelle Pollard

My husband Dale spoke at Polishing the Pulpit recently on the topic of pessimism and its effects on the church. As he ran through some of his points out loud, it got me thinking about how much can be paralleled with this topic and the design of the human body (I guess, as a nurse, I can’t help but make that connection). 

For example, if the kidneys start actin’ up, if you will, the other organs will be affected. And if this isn’t addressed correctly and in a timely manner, it can wreak havoc on the rest of the body. The other organs will overcompensate to try and keep the body healthy, but they will eventually become damaged and not able to perform at their optimum levels. The body is an incredible machine designed by a perfect Creator but we live in a fallen world and sometimes we do things, even subconsciously, that can harm our own health. Likewise, the church was designed perfectly but sometimes we can also do harm to this body. When we as Christians display pessimism, either subconsciously or knowingly, we can cause major harm to the Lord’s body. Attitudes tend to be contagious. If someone voices several complaints and negative remarks, it can discourage others and lead to more negative attitudes. The church will not grow and thrive if pessimism is commonplace. 

As we age, we must take care to treat our physical bodies with special consideration so that our health doesn’t deteriorate prematurely and we can enjoy a long life with those we love and in service to the Lord. In the same way, we must take care to treat the Lord’s body with special consideration, showing gratitude and love for our brothers and sisters in Christ. The church may not be perfect, but we can do things to help it grow and become stronger. 

Here are some practical ways we can each take it upon ourselves to combat pessimism in our own congregations:

  1. If we hear someone complaining about someone or something in the church…instead of going along with the complaints and contributing to negativity, make it a point to verbalize something positive that you’re thankful for related to the topic. 
  2. Do a character study of Barnabas. He was known as a great encourager and we could probably all learn a thing or two from him. 
  3. If you happen to know a Negative Nelly in your congregation, make it a point to compliment them. This is not meant to be manipulative or dishonest, obviously. Find something you admire about them, anything really, and let them know. It could work wonders on this person, who may not often hear personal compliments. Take time to get to know them and I bet you’ll find there’s more positivity to be found by them, it just needed to be uncovered by someone who took the time.

Let’s all do our part to show positivity instead of pessimism so the church can grow and God can be glorified!

A Good Name

By Kathy Pollard

My husband, Neal, and I have this strange habit of turning people’s names into parts of speech and using them in our conversations with each other. For instance, the other day we were discussing a couple of friends who are facing a stressful situation. I said, “We need to Russell them.”  Russell is one of our elders at church and also one of the greatest encouragers we know. We’ve only known him for a couple of years but have received countless texts from him filled with positive vibes. He will send reminders about God’s power and goodness, or thoughtful compliments, or simply tell us he loves us. Neal and I want to follow his example. We appreciate how Russell makes us feel and want to do the same thing for our friends.

Over 20 years ago we stayed in the home of Bill and JoAnn Sharbine in Texas. Even though our time with them was brief, they left a huge impression on us. They treated each other so sweetly. They held hands, smiled at each other, laughed together, and were especially patient with each other. Ever since then, any time Neal or I do something particularly thoughtful or loving to each other, we say, “Aw, I feel so Sharbined!” Bill and JoAnn have no idea that their name has been part of our vocabulary all these years.

An old friend of ours named Dave had an endearing habit. Whenever someone would compliment him (usually about his song leading in worship), he would say, “Huh?,” because he wanted you to repeat the compliment. We always laughed and teased him about it. To this day, whenever I say something nice to Neal and he (acts like he) doesn’t hear me, I say, “Okay, Dave…”

“A good name is to be more desired than great wealth, favor is better than silver and gold” (Prov. 22:1). 

I imagine this verse is a warning to guard your character and reputation. It’s more important to have honor and integrity than to compromise those things to gain a dollar. But it always makes me think of people I know who have a good name. When I hear their name, I automatically associate it with something good.

I can’t help but wonder…what do people associate my name with? If someone were to use it as part of their vocabulary, how would it be used? Regardless of how I want people to think of me, my overall demeanor will determine that. Do I have a complaining spirit? Am I overly critical of others? Am I self-absorbed, generally negative, or quick to play the role of victim? If so, then I can just imagine this conversation taking place somewhere….

Wife: <griping about every little thing>

Husband: “Why are you so Kathy today?”

Ugh, I don’t want people to associate my name with anything like that. But sometimes the toughest part is being aware of our own tendencies. I remember being challenged one time to go a whole week without criticizing or correcting my husband. I thought it’d be pretty easy but I blew it the first day. I didn’t want to admit that I’d become overly critical and I sure didn’t want to see myself that way. But “the mouth speaks what the heart is full of” (Luke 6:45).

What is your heart full of?

To get some real insight, we can pay special attention to our words this week. How often do we complain, nag our spouses, or point out the flaws and disappointments of others? How often does our speech build up others (Eph. 4:29-32) or speak with gentleness, humility, patience, and compassion (Col. 3:12-14)? Perhaps we can go so far as to mentally catalog our words (neutral, negative, positive) to get a true idea of our demeanor.

What comes to mind when people hear your name?

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Revive Me #16–Be Marvelous!

Revive Me, Week 16–A Year of Growing Stronger in the Lord

Be Marvelous!

“Now when Jesus heard this, He marveled at him, and turned and said to the crowd that was following Him, ‘I say to you, not even in Israel have I found such great faith.'”

(Luke 7:9)

Reading about something that causes Jesus to marvel catches my attention.  What did that man do to amaze Jesus?  In the beginning of Luke 7, we read about a centurion whose slave was about to die.  He sent for Jesus.  When the centurion heard that Jesus was on the way, he sent messengers to Him to say He needn’t “trouble Himself” to come all the way under his roof.  He said, “Just say the word, and my servant will be healed” (v. 7).  He spoke of Jesus’ authority and power.  Simply put, the centurion’s speech revealed his great faith.

Words can also reveal weak faith.  When the disciples of Jesus experienced a storm, they said, “Save us, Lord; we are perishing!” Jesus said, “Why are you afraid, you men of little faith?” (Matt. 8:23-26).

Peter took a few brave steps onto the water but then he “became frightened” and began to sink.  He cried out, “Lord, save me!”  Jesus said, “You of little faith, why did you doubt?” (Matt. 14:28-31).

What does your speech reveal about your faith?

Is it obvious to those around you that your faith is great?  No matter what life throws at you, you’re quick to speak of the authority and power of Jesus.  You happily turn control over to Him.  You exude confidence and peace because of your trust in the One who can heal the broken and calm the storms.

Or  does your speech reveal a little faith?  You’re a fretter.  You’re easily overwhelmed.  You allow the things of this world to intimidate you.  When you experience a storm, your words reveal your fear.  When you begin to sink, your cries reveal your doubt.

I want Jesus to marvel at my faith, don’t you?

This week, be marvelous!  Create opportunities to declare your great faith.

Suggestions for the week:

1.  Marvelous is a terrific word.  Look it up.  Just reading the definition and its synonyms will make you feel good.

2.  Study the accounts of the centurion and his great faith (Matt. 8:5-13; Luke 7:1-10).  Also study the accounts of those who dismayed Jesus by their little faith (Matt. 6:30; 8:26; 14:31; 16:8).  What situations did these individuals find themselves in?  How did they react?

3.  Think of your specific storms.  How have you reacted?  Have you allowed fear and worry to weaken your faith?  What will you do and say to show your great faith?

4.  Be mindful of opportunities this week to cause others to marvel at your great faith.

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Revive Me #14- Speak Tenderly

Revive Me, Week 14– A Year of Growing Stronger in the Lord

Speak Tenderly

“Death and life are in the power of the tongue” (Prov. 18:21).

Death speech:

  • Attacking instead of defending a position with dignity— We are to “be ready to give a defense” (1 Pet. 3:15).  We are to be passionate about the Truth (Jude 3).  But in that passionate defense, we need to make sure we are not neglecting to “speak the truth in love” (Eph. 4:15).
  • Overusing sarcasm– When speaking to or about others, sarcasm can smack of arrogance.  Just because we’re quick-witted enough to use it doesn’t mean we should.  Let’s not be snarkastic (to borrow my husband’s word) when a gentle answer would be more powerful (Prov. 15:1).
  • Making disparaging remarks— When someone is struggling with personal battles, the last thing they need to hear when they show up for worship is, “What?  You don’t own a tie?”  We assume that others are strong enough to bear whatever we dish out but we don’t always know their spiritual state.  Our innocent but thoughtless remarks could cause someone to leave feeling beat down instead of built up.
  • Speaking in exasperation— Since we spend the most time with our families, we can have more moments of irritation and annoyance with them.  Let’s be sure to cherish those relationships by interacting with patience and respect.

If a loved one is the one being discouraged by the words of another, we feel very protective and indignant. We wonder why someone didn’t think before they spoke, why they thought it was okay to be so free with their careless opinion.  We need to feel that same level of protection toward everyone.  We will be held accountable for what we say/ post to or about others (Matt. 12:36).

Life Speech:

  • Building others up— It doesn’t take much effort but oh what good can be done by thoughtful words (1 Thess. 5:11)!
  • Commending/ praising/ blessing others– This is one way we can look to the interests of others (Phil. 2:3,4)
  • Loving others— We’re commanded to love one another (1 John 4:7,8) so why shouldn’t we tell each other we do?
  • Sharing the good news– The best way to give life is to tell about the One who is Life (John 14:6).
  • Expressing gratitude— I don’t think it can be overdone.
  • Encouraging others– Many are quietly serving.  We can encourage them by telling them they make a difference.

To speak tenderly means to speak lovingly and gently.  Let’s determine to speak tenderly in every interaction.  We represent Christ.  Our life-giving words will clearly demonstrate that.

Let no unwholesome word proceed from your mouth, but only such a word as is good for edification according to the need of the moment, so that it will give grace to those who hear. Do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, by whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. Be kind to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving each other, just as God in Christ also has forgiven you.

(Eph. 4:29-32)

Suggestions for the Week:

  1.   Use the power of your tongue this week to encourage:
  • Face to face– Make it your mission to encourage at least 15 different people
  • Social media– 10 posts that will encourage the church as a whole or a specific person
  • Email– send to 5 different people pointing out their strengths
  • Traditional mail– Write to 3 different people thanking them for their service
  • Phone– Call a shut-in to brighten their day

2.  When communicating in whatever form, remember the words of  Thumper.

3.  Focus your personal Bible study this week on the power of the tongue.

4.  Ask God to help you see when you are being thoughtless or careless with remarks.

Study it. Memorize it. Live it.

deep love quotes

 

 

Revive Me, Week 7– Stop Complaining

Revive Me, Week 7– A Year of Growing Stronger in the Lord

Stop Complaining

“Stop”- to not do something that you have been doing before; to not continue doing something

That little reminder of the definition of “stop” is for myself.  I admit this challenge will be tough for me.  I don’t like to think of myself as a whiner or negative person and yet I realize that I have found ways to complain anyway.  I certainly have tried to justify it.

If I only complain to my husband, it doesn’t really count.

If I have a legitimate cause for complaint, surely it’s understandable.

I think I’ve even figured out how to disguise complaints.  I can word them in such a way that makes it sound like I’m only asking a question.  But complaining is complaining.  What’s the big deal?  Well, when I take the time to focus on Scriptures about complaining, I see that God thinks it’s a big deal.

“Now the people became like those who complain of adversity in the hearing of the Lord, and when the Lord heard it, His anger was kindled…” (Num. 11:1).

“Do all things without grumbling or disputing” (Phil. 2:14).

“Do not complain, brethren, against one another, so that you yourselves may not be judged” (James 5:9).

“Be hospitable to one another without complaint” (1 Pet. 4:9).

In 1 Cor. 10, we read that God was not “well-pleased” with the Israelites.  “Now these things happened as examples for us, so that we would not crave evil things as they also craved” (v. 6).  What “evil things” did they crave?  While they were in the wilderness, they were guilty of idolatry, immorality, and complaining.  “Nor grumble, as some of them did, and were destroyed by the destroyer. Now these things happened to them as an example, and they were written for our instruction…” (v. 10,11).  Twice in the text Paul writes that the behavior of the Israelites and their consequences are an example for us.  Is complaining really as bad as idolatry and immorality?  Yikes.  

I’m ready to remove complaining from my speech and my mind.  I’m ready to nip it in the bud.  I want need to set a better example for my husband, my sons, and anyone else who is around when I open my mouth.  I don’t want to sound like the world.  Even more than that, I realize that complaining comes from discontentment and ingratitude.  God’s children are the most blessed in this life and have still more to come in the next.  How can I waste my breath grumbling when there’s so much for which to rejoice?

Challenges for the week:

  1.  “Go 24 hours without complaining (not even once).  Then watch how your life starts changing” (Katrina Mayer).  Complaining is a habit.  Take the challenge, one day at a time!
  2.  Tell someone that you’re trying to kick the complaining habit.  Ask them to help catch you when you gripe.
  3.  Keep an index card in your pocket.  Every time you complain, make a tally mark.  See how you do at the end of each day.  Hopefully your marks will get fewer and fewer as you learn to catch yourself.
  4. Replace complaining with blessing counting.  When you think a complaint, voice a blessing instead.
  5. Read this excellent and convicting article by Erynn Sprouse.

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Ways to LOVE MORE in 2015

What can we do that will really make an impact on others?  How can we draw others to Christ?  If that’s an important goal for you in this new year, you’ve probably already considered the words of Jesus when He shared the main way that we prove our Christianity.

“A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another, even as I have loved you, that you also love one another.  By THIS all men will know that you are MY disciples, if you have love for one another” (John 13:34,35, emphases mine).

If our love for one another shows the world that we belong to Christ, what does the world think when we display anything less than love?  In an effort to change/ teach/ enlighten others in the Lord’s body, we must be very careful that anyone reading or hearing our words can only think, “My, how they love each other!”  So what are some ways we can accomplish that?

  • Limit use of sarcasm, and remove snarky remarks altogether (Prov. 15:1; Col. 4:6)
  • Make sure the majority of our remarks and writings paint the Lord’s church in a positive light (Psa. 133:1)
  • Get in the habit of daily looking for ways to compliment and encourage other Christians (Rom. 12:10)
  • Avoid a reputation of being deliberately controversial (2 Tim. 2:24,25; Eph. 4:29-31)
  • Focus on unifying the body instead of promoting strife (John 17:22,23; Phil. 2:1-3; Rom. 12:6; 1 Cor. 1:10)
  • Inject much more sweetness in speech and in writing (Prov. 16:24)
  • Be ever so gentle in defense of the gospel (1 Pet. 3:15)
  • Practice patience, even if attacked or wronged (2 Tim. 2:24,25)
  • Think, think, think before speaking or posting (Prov. 12:18; 15:28)
  • Share more Word than opinion (Col. 3:16; Prov. 15:2)
  • Remember that true wisdom and kindness go hand in hand (Prov. 31:26)

As we strive to be salt and light, let’s also make it very obvious that everything we say and do is motivated by love.

Prayer for Today:  Grow our love for one another, Lord, so we can draw others to You.

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How to have a Real Conversation

Yesterday, Neal and I enjoyed a great conversation with a 95-year-old man.  In the course of our brief time together, he said things like:

  • I celebrate our relationship.
  • A Scripture I read the other day reminded me…
  • In Romans 12…
  • Have you seen this great article in the Gospel Advocate?
  • Let’s sing a couple of songs.
  • May we pray together?

Anyone who knows this man knows that his speech is often seasoned with spiritual substance.  Sprinkled throughout talk of the Rockies, our boys, and his grandchildren, this sterling gentleman naturally referenced God’s Word, the Lord’s church, and the beauty of Heaven.  We did sing together, just the three of us.  “Angels are Singing” and “Be with me, Lord” never sounded so sweet!

I keep thinking back over that conversation.  It was so REAL because it was filled with eternal matters.  I’ve known and admired this man for over eight years, but I was still caught off guard a couple of times by his seemingly unorthodox requests.  “Let’s sing a couple of songs.”  What, right now?  “I’d like for you to read these two paragraphs I found about Ephesians One.”  If we’re reading, no one is talking.  But the silence was only mildly uncomfortable at first.  Then it seemed natural and right and beneficial.

I’m grateful for the example of how to have a real conversation.  Too often I get caught up in going through the polite motions, saying what’s expected, or neglecting opportunities to encourage.  I loved the multiple references to God’s Word and I was especially drawn to how naturally they flowed from this Christian man’s lips.  I saw him as a real man who knows how to talk about real things.

Neal and I left smiling and refreshed.  One conversation did that for us because of its substance.  I’ve been thinking back over the interactions I’ve had this week and I’m challenged to engage in more REAL (face to face) conversations with my husband, my children, my church family, close friends, and with my neighbors.

For those who live according to the flesh

set their minds on the things of the flesh, 

but those who live according to the Spirit, 

the things of the Spirit.

–Romans 8:5

Prayer for Today:  Help me, Lord, to have a mind so set on You that my words more often mirror Yours.

*This post can also be found at http://proverbs14verse1.blogspot.com/2014/08/wise-woman-linkup_13.html.

 

A Nagging Woman is in the House

“Hen-pecked” is great imagery because it’s easy to picture that sharp-beaked chicken peck, peck, pecking an innocent bystander.  The Bible minces no words when describing the nagging woman.  No one wants to be around her (Prov. 21:9) and she is as annoying as a continual drip on a rainy day (Prov. 27:15).

Godly wives try to avoid nagging.  We don’t want to make our husbands miserable and we know God expects us to respect and honor them (Eph. 5:33).  But I don’t think the home is the only place where nagging women can be found.  Nagging involves persistent fault-finding, criticizing, grumbling, and harassing.  If we’re not careful, we can become the constant dripping in the church.  The shrew on the pew:

  • Watches members with a critical eye.  You can see her lift her eyebrows when she spies a teen with an odd hairstyle or a youth minister laughing too loudly.
  • Knows what’s best for everyone.  She tsk-tsks at the antics of young couples or the decisions made by the elders.  She doubts most people really know what they’re doing.
  • Stirs up trouble.  She can’t seem to help dropping a whispered word here and there questioning the character of unsuspecting brothers and sisters.
  • Is never satisfied.  In her mind, no one calls enough, visits enough, or cares enough.
  • Doubts the sincerity of others.  When others offer a kind word or gesture, she questions their motives or assumes they’re only duty-driven.

Harpies in the house of the Lord create an unwelcome, harsh environment.  Women truly play a big role in the overall tone of the church.  Am I compassionate and encouraging?  Or am I quick to peck God’s family to death?

Prayer for Today:  Thank you, Lord, for women who demonstrate Your love to all the saints.

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I See Good People

You find what you’re looking for, right?   I appreciate all those who use social media to encourage others and there are lots!  Below you’ll find just a glimpse of all the good people I’ve seen this past week.  Enjoy, and happy Monday!

1.  Tweeted by Allen Webster:

“To free yourself from guilt, you must practice the 4 R’s:

  •  Repentance Acts 8:22
  • Restitution Lk. 19:8
  • Reformation Rm. 6:4
  • Rejoicing Psa. 51:12“

2.  Because I LOVE it when spouses encourage each other, here’s a post by Kara Davidson to her husband (with permission, of course):

“You did an amazing job with your sermons the past few weeks! Linder is so blessed to have two outstanding ministers! Love you!”

3.  Beautiful, beautiful blog post about anxiety by Emily Hatfield…prepare to be touched:

http://emilyhat.com/be-anxious-for-nothing/

4.  Sweet friend Wendy Chesser keeping it real on facebook:

“Ya know, when you are asked to lead a prayer for a Ladies event (and you are too embarrassed to say no) and you want the truth about how you did….just ask your 14 year-old daughter, who replied to my asking, by saying, “Well, it was nice, but….you kinda’ made this giant sniff and everybody heard the snot rattle in your nose”…just like to apologize for that!!! ;O)”

5.  From my favorite humorist, Celine Sparks:

“I thought I would count a different kind of sheep in order to get to sleep last night. I would think of a preacher for each letter of the alphabet (first name). I got all the way to Alan Highers.”

6.  Under the category of Practical and Outstanding, Neal Pollard‘s blog article about what to do when you’re given the cold shoulder:

http://preacherpollard.wordpress.com/2014/02/26/warming-up-the-cold-shoulder/

7.  Wise facebook post from consummate encourager, Jeff Archey:

“I will praise thee; for I am fearfully and wonderfully made: marvelous are thy works; and that my soul knoweth right well” (Ps. 139:14). Was reading this AM and it brought to mind the commercial of the couple at the concert looking for their little boy and they looked on the stage and there he was…seated at the piano of the world renowned entertainer everyone gathered to see. The little boy was playing “Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star” as a child would when the entertainer walked up behind him, paused and looked and said, “Keep playing.” The famous pianist added in notes and melodies and it harmonized beautifully. Like that little child, we as children of God have days that may be gloomy and down; sometime boring to ourselves and others. But as we are “fearfully and wonderfully made,” our Father God grants us individuals and moments that brings forth the melodies in our lives and it harmonizes beautifully to His glory. Look for them daily…it starts with me…and you.  Let’s keep playing…and keep living.”

8.  New on the scene:

-Written by Christian young men, check out “Let No One Look Down” on facebook       and at their blog site:

http://redbirdsfan6.wordpress.com/

-Terrific posts by Shanna Anderson!  Follow her new blog and be sure to like her facebook page as well (Life in the Cleft):

http://lifeinthecleft.com/

Prayer for Today:  Bless those, Lord, who encourage others by their words and actions.

*This post can also be found at http://proverbs14verse1.blogspot.com/2014/03/wise-woman-linkup.html.

Writers of “Let No One Look Down” (Photo credit: Neal Pollard)

If Complaining is Your Weakness…

Discontentment can rear its ugly head in multiple areas of our lives.  If only I had a bigger house.  If only my spouse would try harder.  I wish our church members were different.  No one understands me.  I’m the only one doing all the work.  When these types of thoughts take root in our hearts, the words coming out of our mouths sound more and more like complaints.

Why complain about what we don’t have?  We should be content with what the Lord has given us.  Why complain about someone else’s character?  Everyone else can observe it as well as we can.  Why complain about the state of our nation?  The world hears enough of that, and we’re trying to draw others to Christ.  Does complaining attract or repel?  Why complain about the shortcomings of the Lord’s church?  It seems like we should spend more time voicing the blessings of being in God’s family so our coworkers and neighbors will want to know more about it.

Oh, I am stepping ALL OVER my toes.  So if complaining is a weakness of yours as well, here is a little list of quotes and Scriptures to print and post.  May we all use our tongues to spread the grace and love of Jesus Christ in 2014.

  • “Go 24 hours without complaining (not even once).  Then watch how your life starts changing.”  (Katrina Mayer)
  • “Do ALL things without complaining or disputing” (Phil. 2:14).
  • “Let no corrupt word proceed out of your mouth, but what is good for necessary edification, that it may impart grace to the hearers” (Eph. 4:29).
  • “But let the thankful heart sweep through the day and, as the magnet finds the iron, so it will find, in every hour, some heavenly blessings!”  (Henry Ward Beecher)
  • “Do not grumble against one another, brethren, lest you be condemned” (James 5:9).
  • “It is not how much we have, but how much we enjoy, that makes happiness.”  (Charles Haddon Spurgeon)
  • “Now when the people complained, it displeased the Lord; for the Lord heard it, and His anger was aroused” (Num. 11:1).
  • “Now these things became our examples, to the intent that we should not lust after evil things, as they also lusted…nor complain, as some of them also complained, and were destroyed by the destroyer” (1 Cor. 10:6-11).
  • “It is amazing how many occasions present themselves in which I can choose gratitude instead of a complaint. I can choose to grateful when I am criticized, even when my heart still responds in bitterness. I can choose to speak about goodness and beauty, even when my inner eye still looks for someone to accuse or something to call ugly.” (Henri J.M. Nouwen)
  • “You say, ‘If I had a little more, I should be very satisfied.’ You make a mistake. If you are not content with what you have, you would not be satisfied if it were doubled.” (Charles Haddon Spurgeon)
  • “Be hospitable to one another without grumbling” (1 Pet. 4:9).
  •  “Had we not faults of our own, we should take less pleasure in complaining of others.”  (Francois Fenelon)
  • “Ultimately, all our complaints are directed against God.”  (Woodrow Kroll)
  • “Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, in everything give thanks; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you” (1 Thess. 5:16-18).

Prayer for Today:  May I strive to be more like Your Son who, even when oppressed and afflicted, ‘opened not His mouth.’