Category: Christian Living

Have Mercy

In the past week, we’ve been very busy trying to see how many people we can let down.  At least it has felt that way.  We’ve disappointed some and hurt some.  Oh, not in a sinful way, but in a painful way nevertheless.  As we geared up for the fallout, as we braced for the blows, we received…warm hugs, whispered prayers, supportive words, healing tears.  A generosity of patience and  understanding.  Lots of silent smiles conveying trust.  Multiple conversations revealed class acts and compassionate hearts.  I was humbled and so grateful.  I was surprised, but I shouldn’t have been.  This wasn’t the first time I’d seen mercy in action.  I’ve personally hurt others in the past, and in a sinful way.  When anger and rejection would’ve been justifiable, I was shown compassion and forgiveness.

I’m grateful for two things.  First, it’s wonderful to see Christians demonstrating God’s grace and mercy.  We saw firsthand a glimpse of the Father’s heart.  It’s been beautiful and faith-building, and I’m reminded once more of the blessedness of being in God’s Family.  Second, I’m grateful for the ways this has caused me to look closely at my own heart.  I’ve been forced to acknowledge that there’ve been times when I’ve been stingy with mercy.  There’ve been times when I’ve been too full of myself to be patient or compassionate.  There’ve been times when I did extend forgiveness, but a little too begrudgingly and condescendingly.  I’m challenged to be more merciful.  I want to give to others what has been so generously given to us.

“Blessed are the merciful, for they shall obtain mercy” (Matthew 5:7).

Prayer for Today:  Oh God, help me show Your love and mercy to my family, my fellow Christians, and my sphere of influence.

Photo taken by Kristy Woodall

You’re Killing Me

I was asked to do something thoughtful for an enemy.  Granted, the person doing the asking didn’t realize the would-be recipient is antagonistic toward my family.  What goes through your mind in a situation like that?  I’ll tell you what went through mine.  You’ve got to be kidding me.  No way!  I can’t do it.  Even if I could, it wouldn’t be sincere.  You have no idea what that person has put me through, and now I’M the one who has to be nice?  Does that seem fair?  You’re killing me.  And on and on my thoughts went.  By the time my mental rant was over, I’d done a nice job of convincing myself that the person wouldn’t welcome a thoughtful gesture from me anyway.  I patted myself on the back for having never retaliated (hello, Pride), and justified my choice to simply avoid the enemy.  What more could anyone ask?

“But I say to you who hear, LOVE your enemies, DO GOOD to those who hate you, BLESS those who curse you, and PRAY for those who spitefully use you.  To him who strikes you on the one cheek, OFFER the other also.  And from him who takes away your cloak, DO NOT WITHHOLD your tunic either.  GIVE to everyone who asks of you” (Luke 6:27-30).

Jesus asked for more.  I have to acknowledge that my avoid-at-all-costs plan isn’t good enough.  Okay, it’s not even good.  Avoiding doesn’t love, do good, give, or any of those other commands I decided I’d better circle in the text.  Jesus went on to say,”But if you love those who love you, what credit is that to you?  For even sinners love those who love them” (v. 32).  By withholding love and goodness, I act like the world.  Still, it seems a bit much to ask.  Until I remember…

“Then some began to spit on Him, and to blindfold Him, and to beat Him.  And the officers struck Him with the palms of their hands.  And [Pilate] delivered Jesus, after he had scourged Him, to be crucified.  They twisted a crown of thorns, put it on His head.  They struck Him on the head with a reed and spat on Him.  Those who passed by blasphemed Him.  Even those who were crucified with Him reviled Him” (Mark 14).

And He was completely innocent.  He never entertained an unkind thought.  He didn’t deserve such horrible treatment.  What went through His mind as He faced His antagonists, knowing He was on the cross for them?  “You’re killing Me”?  No.  Jesus demonstrated the very attitude He requires of us.  We know exactly what went through His mind.

“Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they do” (Luke 23:34).

Prayer for Today:  Humble me, Lord.  In my thoughts, attitude, and intentions, give me a heart like Your Son’s.

 

hugs

This article can also be seen at 

DISTRACTED

Imagine my surprise when I walked into the kitchen and discovered my pizza dough had turned into a yeasty volcano.  I didn’t intend for the dough to rise more than an hour, but I got so busy doing other things, I completely forgot all about it.  I’ve made pizza dough dozens of times.  When I made this particular batch, I did everything right.  When I set it on the counter to rise, it looked good and smelled good.  But because I got distracted, what started out as a “good thing,” turned into a mess.

Poor Martha.  She started out doing something good by welcoming Jesus into her home.  But then she jumped into busyness and next thing you know, things weren’t going the way she envisioned.  We might be quick to come to her defense.  After all, the food wasn’t going to prepare itself!  But Jesus cut to the heart of the matter.  “Martha, Martha, you are worried and bothered about so many things” (Luke 10:41).  The text tells us that Martha was distracted (v. 40).   When Martha became distracted…

She became frustrated.  I can almost hear her tone of voice when she finally asked Jesus to make Mary help her.  We’ve all been in situations where it seems there’s so much to do and too little help.  As Martha’s frustration mounted, she started feeling sorry for herself.  Her attitude soured.  She started complaining.  Martha, Martha, “be hospitable to one another without complaint” (1 Peter 4:9).

She started viewing others harshly.  Notice how Martha accused both her sister and her Lord.  She said her sister left her to do all the serving alone (Luke 10:40).  I wonder how many times she cut her eyes in her sister’s direction as she was working away?  She probably thought her sister was just being lazy, or at the very least, enjoying their special company while poor Martha was left with all the work.  Then she said to Jesus, “Lord, do You not care…?” (v. 40).  That question alone is proof positive that distractions are dangerous.  If she was in her right mind, would she have dared accuse the Messiah of not caring?  When we get overwhelmed by the extra responsibilities we take upon ourselves, we might lash out at those closest to us.  Jesus generously gave His time to Martha, but she couldn’t see that.  Mary was listening at Jesus’ feet (the implication being that He was teaching), not trying to get out of work, but Martha didn’t see it that way.  Martha’s perception of both Jesus and Mary was wrong.  How do we know she was wrong about Mary?  Because Jesus said, “Mary has chosen the good part, which shall not be taken away from her” (v. 42).   Distraction led Martha to treat others unjustly.  Martha, Martha, “with all humility and gentleness, with patience, show tolerance for one another in love” (Eph. 4:2).

She focused on the physical instead of the eternal.  And as a result, she missed out on a golden opportunity.  If Martha had sat at Jesus’ feet, she wouldn’t have been just a face in the crowd.  Jesus taught the multitudes many times.  But this time, He was in Martha’s home.  She could’ve had a special audience with the Son of God!  Martha wasn’t out doing worldly things or sinful things; she was serving.  But Jesus said she had “many things” on her mind when she should have had “one thing” on her mind (v. 41,42).  Martha chose poorly.  Because she was distracted by the urgent, she wasn’t focused on the eternal.  Martha, Martha, “set your mind on the things above, not on things of the earth” (Col. 3:2).

Prayer for Today:  Lord, help me focus on what’s truly important instead of being blinded by busy distractions.

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This article can also be found at Women Living Well

“Women are Most Beautiful at 30; Men are Most Handsome at 34”

I heard that little tidbit on the Today Show.  Apparently I’m well over a whole decade past my beauty prime.  That’s vanity, yes.  If this physical body was all I knew and cared about, I might be tempted to console myself with chocolate. (I might do that anyway.)  But even though our society idolizes the beautiful body, the Christian knows that “beauty is vain” and “the Lord looks on the heart” (Prov. 31:30; 1 Sam. 16:7).

The truth is that I’ve got a long way to go before I reach my true beauty prime.  God prizes a gentle and quiet spirit (1 Pet. 3:3,4).  Holy women adorn themselves by submitting to their own husbands (1 Pet. 3:5,6), and clothing themselves with strength and dignity (Prov. 31:25).  Dressing our best means practicing righteous acts (Rev. 19:8).  You see, presentation is everything to God, too, but He wants us to present our bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to Him (Rom. 12:1).  Gentleness, submission, honor, holiness, and serving others–this is real beauty that never fades.

As someone once said, “You can take no credit for beauty at sixteen.  But if you are beautiful at sixty, it will be your own soul’s doing.”  Those who are conforming to the image of Christ have this confidence:  “Therefore we do not lose heart, but though our outer man is decaying, yet our inner man is being renewed day by day” (2 Cor. 4:16).

Prayer for Today:  Lord, help me remove all ugliness from my heart.

**This post can also be viewed at:  LivingWell

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Shining or Shaming?

Teaching (and even admonishing) can be done without insulting or disparaging others.  Righteous indignation is something Christians will and should feel, but surely that doesn’t give us the right to passionately belittle others.  How we speak is just as important as what we speak.  And although tone is not as easily “heard” in print, word choice conveys quite a bit of the attitude behind the writer.  When making a point, orally or typewritten, consider the following reasons to omit offensive language:

To practice the Golden Rule.  We all want to learn and grow, which involves being reproved at times.  But none of us wants an insult included with the rebuke.  We would feel personally attacked instead of lovingly corrected.  We would ask the one teaching or admonishing us to do so without being ugly or smart-alecky.  So if we prefer to be taught with respect, why would it be okay to teach someone else in a disrespectful way (Matt. 7:12)?

To avoid sounding like the world.  Rudeness and name-calling are all around us.  We’re to act differently, and react differently.  Our words when teaching, correcting, or convincing need to be obviously loving, or we’re guilty of conforming to the world in an area the Bible places great emphasis on–our speech (Col. 4:6).

To demonstrate love.  The people in our lives that we dearly love sometimes need admonishing.  How do we speak to them?  Patiently.  Kindly.  Tenderly.  We would never dream of hurting or ridiculing them; we just want to help them!  So we choose our words carefully in hopes of conveying that.  If love is our motivation behind convicting others, let’s make sure no one ever has to question that (1 Cor. 13:4).

To avoid detracting from the message.  Some might think that using scorn or derision makes what we have to say more emphatic.  It emphasizes something alright.  It emphasizes the personality of the speaker/ teacher.  Is that the objective?  Speaking the truth in a respectful way does not dilute it or make it less meaningful.  On the contrary, it shows we care about getting it right (Eph. 4:15).

To represent the Lord’s church accurately.  The world is watching and listening.  They see our interactions with one another.  What are they supposed to think when they see us insulting others (while supposedly standing for what’s right), using words like “stupid,” “idiotic,” etc.?  They know disrespect when they see it, and it has no business coming out of the mouths (or keyboards) of Christians (John 13:35).

We must teach and admonish, but we must also be careful to do so in a way that shines the Light instead of shaming the church.

Prayer for Today:  Lord, may my passionate convictions be tempered with the tongue of lovingkindness.  

25 Ways to Keep Christ at the Center of My Life

I love this list so much that I made three copies of it.  I put one on our refrigerator, one on the boys’ bathroom wall, and one at eye level where the ironing board is (not that I spend a lot of time there).   This list first appeared in Neal’s “Daily Bread” about a year ago (and can also be found on his blog, http://www.preacherpollard.wordpress.com), but I wanted to share it here because I had an idea.  What if we all focus on one suggestion each day, using the number on the list that coordinates with the date?  That means today we’ll focus on #11, “I will reflect meaningfully on the price He paid at Calvary.”  Each month, start over again so that after a year of “25 Ways” in 25 days, keeping Christ at the center of our lives should be pretty ingrained.  We can share this challenge with our children and discuss it in family devotionals at the end of the day.  We can ask best friends to join in the challenge with us, and email each other encouragement.  Bible class teachers can turn this into a group effort by giving a list to each of the students.  Let’s see how much of a difference we can make in our families, churches, and communities by sharing this exciting challenge to grow ever closer to Christ!

Suggestions for how to focus on the list each day:

  1. Start and end each day with a prayer about the specific way to keep Christ at the center.
  2. Keep a journal.  Jot down Scriptures related to it, along with personal reflections.
  3. Find at least one practical way to act on it.

25 Ways to Keep Christ in the Center of My Life

By Neal Pollard

  1. I will absorb myself in the practice of prayer
  2. I will actively practice kindness
  3. I will find someone each day with whom to share Him
  4. I will watch what I allow to grow in my heart
  5. I will consider carefully how what I do effects my influence
  6. I will actively encourage the people I daily encounter
  7. I will assume and look for the best in others
  8. I will nurture a hatred of sin and a love of sinners
  9. I will treat Scripture as daily nourishment for my soul
  10. I will keep a spiritual song in my heart
  11. I will reflect meaningfully on the price He paid at Calvary
  12. I will guard my tongue
  13. I will think longingly about heaven
  14. I will contemplate ways to be involved in the church’s work
  15. I will love His church with a passion
  16. I will cut out the tendency to rationalize or defend wrongdoing
  17. I will be discerning about what is spiritual and what is worldly
  18. I will grow in my understanding of what true love is
  19. I will humbly acknowledge the greatness and power of God
  20. I will do all within my power to help answer His prayer for unity
  21. I will pursue souls with the same vigor that He did
  22. I will look for ways to turn the conversation to the spiritual
  23. I will long for times of worship and devotion
  24. I will care less and less about my rights, feelings, and desires
  25. I will think, speak, act, and look more like Him every day

Prayer for Today:  May I do all I can, dear Lord, to make it obvious that I belong to You.

Beware the Strangler Fig!

Once you hear the fascinating story of the strangler fig, you will shiver every time you see one.  The strangler fig is a large canopy tree that begins its life in an unusual way.  The seed is deposited by bird droppings on a branch of another tree.  As the seed grows, it stretches out in both directions, down toward the ground so it can build a root system, and up toward the sky so it can reach the sunlight through the jungle growth.  The strangler fig grows aggressively, and soon its roots choke off the nutrients of the host tree, while its leaves prevent the host tree from getting sunlight.  Before long, nothing is left of the host but a hollow center.  The common name for this dark jungle dweller is the banyan tree, which sounds a lot more benign than calling it what it is.  And you know where I’m going with this.  Seeds are deposited on us all the time.  Unlike the host tree of the strangler fig, we have a choice as to whether or not the little seeds grow and take over.

The seed of unpleasantness- You’ve had it dropped on you.  No matter how positive you try to be, or how much good you try to do, someone will find fault.  Someone will criticize or say something thoughtless.  You can brush it off, or you can feed it until it you find yourself resenting others.  Common name:  I’mAVictim.  Real name:  Bitterness

The seed of sensuality- It’s everywhere.  Ladies, it’s not just a problem for guys who stare at a computer all day.  It’s in TV shows like Desperate You-Name-It or The Bachelor or Dancing with the Stars.  It’s in magazines.  It’s graphically portrayed in novels.  It can even be found on Pinterest.  It can smother out all sense of purity and wholesomeness.  Common name:  Entertainment.  Real name:  Pornography.

The seed of whispering- Will you join in the conversation?  It doesn’t take much to become a participant, to look forward to the chatter, to contribute what you know.  Common name:  Confiding.  Real name:  Gossip.

The seed of chemistry- A glance here, a little flirtation there, or an exchange of emails or texts that makes your heart flutter and your cheeks hot…there’s nothing harmless about it.  It has an aggressive growth rate.  It damages relationships, and soon you might find yourself guilty of the one thing you thought you’d never do.  Common name:  Affair. Real name:  Adultery.

No matter what we’re exposed to, faced with, or tempted by, we have the choice to nip it in the bud (ha!) from the very beginning (1 Cor. 10:13), or we can let it grow and smother out the Light until nothing is left but a hollow shell of who we’re supposed to be.  “When desire has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and sin, when it is full-grown, brings forth death” (James 1:15).

Prayer for Today:  May I always be aware of any sin trying to take root in my heart.

Our group under a strangler fig at an Angkor temple in Cambodia

Living Right but Getting It Wrong

Am I righteous?  Or am I self-righteous?  It is all too possible to be doing everything right, but to have an attitude that’s all wrong.  Jesus taught this to individuals (Luke 7:40-47), to seekers (Mark 10:17-24), and even to religious groups (Matt. 15:7,8).  From these examples, we see it’s possible to think we’re righteous when we’re not.  Jesus had to point out to these people their heart problems.  They couldn’t see it for themselves.  How can we make sure we’re not just outwardly righteous?

I can be living right, but getting it wrong if I compare my righteousness to others.  Jesus told a parable about a very religious man who felt pretty good about himself when he looked around and saw that others weren’t measuring up.  He made himself the standard of righteousness!  Jesus calls this kind of attitude “exalting oneself.”  He told this parable to those who “trusted in themselves that they were righteous” and who “despised others” (Luke 18:9-14).  According to Webster, self-righteousness is “being convinced of one’s own righteousness, especially in contrast with the actions or beliefs of others.”  Jesus is our standard.  How does my righteousness compare to His?

I can be living right, but getting it wrong if I assume the worst in others.  When someone says (or posts) something  a little questionable, am I quick to correct, criticize, or condemn?   If I want to live right, I will be patient, tolerant, and loving, and viewing my fellow brothers and sisters through eyes of humility (Eph. 4:2).  This means I will give others the benefit of the doubt.  I will assume they are trying as hard as I am to live righteously.  “…In lowliness of mind, let each esteem others better than himself” (Phil. 2:3).

I can be living right, but getting it wrong if I think everyone needs to hear my opinion on any given matter.  Do I feel my thoughts are that superior?  or important?  Do I think the choices I’ve made are what’s best for everyone else?  There ARE times when we must speak and teach.  We’re to share the gospel truth every chance we get.  But there are some areas where the decisions made are matters of personal opinion.  When the Bible leaves choices in the hands of individuals (there’s more than one right way to parent, or educate, or work, or date, or diet…), we must be careful not to elevate our own opinions.  “Do not be wise in your own opinion” (Rom. 12:16).  Rom. 14 makes it clear that there will be some areas in which we can disagree in opinion.  We’re not to “pass judgment on [others’] opinions” (v. 1), but to “pursue the things which make for peace and the building up of one another” (v. 19).

How can we keep righteousness from becoming self-righteousness?   We simply honor others above ourselves (Rom. 12:10).

Prayer for Today:  May Your Son be my standard as I strive to live righteously and humbly.

Smothered in Praise

More than I should, I enjoy being acknowledged for something I’ve done.  “Honey, look how much money I’ve saved us this week by planning out all our meals!”  “Did you notice I set the coffee pot for you?”  As soon as Neal replies, “Great job!” or “Wow, thanks!” I smile with satisfaction.  Granted, I don’t prod anyone besides my husband for praise (at least not in an obvious way), but I realize I’ve got a problem with motives here.  Ideally, I should serve because I can and should, without expecting a pat on the back.  Ironically, most of the things I seek recognition for are things I’m supposed to be doing anyway.  They’re part of my responsibilities. They’re not second-mile deeds.  In order to curb my childish desire for praise, I tried an experiment.  I would go an entire week without mentioning a single accomplishment on my part.  I mentally geared up ahead of time, reminding myself that a mature Christian woman serves out of the goodness of her heart.  How did it go?  Well, let’s just say I found creative ways to seek praise.  Crawling into bed at the end of Day One, I said, “Mmm, I love the smell of freshly washed sheets.”  Neal dutifully replied, “Me, too.  Good job, Babe.”

My youngest son, Carl, shared something with me this morning that reminded me again to work on this prideful trait of mine.  He is studying ancient history, and told me the story of Draco.  Draco, who lived around 600 B.C., was a strict and serious Athenian.  He gained a reputation for harshness.  He ordered that even the smallest offense of the law be punishable by death.  People acknowledged him because he ruthlessly demanded it.  One day, Draco went to the theatre,  and when the public saw him, they threw their cloaks to him in order to honor him.  Unfortunately, he suffocated under the mass number of cloaks.  He was smothered in praise.  What he desired most became his downfall.

Seeking praise gets to be a bad habit, an unattractive character trait.  It’s a heart condition.  It’s nothing like the service that our Lord demonstrated for us, and commands of us.  We’re to serve in humility (John 13:1-17).  We’re to serve one another in love (Gal. 5:13).  We’re to serve with grace (1 Pet. 4:10).  And when we serve, we are to desire that God gets the praise and is glorified (1 Pet. 4:11).

Prayer for today:  Lord, help me renew my heart, seeking Your glory, not mine.

Rules for Technology

They’re everywhere.  Devices like iPhones, iPads, cell phones are in use all the time in every place.  Everyone in my family has them, too.  We have basic rules and guidelines in place, but I was especially impressed with a list I saw by Janell Hoffman.  She gave her son an iPhone, and a list of 18 rules she created to go along with it.  I started typing up a copy to print off and give to each of my sons, making slight adaptations as I went to remove one cuss word and to make it more of a Christian approach.  I also added a few Scripture references.  Then I decided to share the list on my blog in case anyone else would like to print off an edited copy for their family.   Many of the rules on the list are good reminders for adults, too!  Thank you to Lauren Battistelli for first posting Hoffman’s list on facebook this morning.

RULES FOR iPADS, iPHONES, & CELL PHONES

–Adapted

1.  Never be upset about your parents wanting passwords.

2.  If it rings, answer it.  Say hello, use your manners.  Never ignore a call from your parents.  Not ever.

3.  Shut the device off at a reasonable hour each evening, then turn it on again in the morning.  If you would not make a call to someone’s land line, wherein their parents may answer first, then do not call or text.  Listen to those instincts & respect other families like we would like to be respected.

4.  It does not go everywhere with you.  Have a conversation with the people you text in person.  It’s a life skill. (2 Cor. 8:7)

5.  If it falls into the toilet, smashes on the ground, or vanishes into thin air, you are responsible for replacement costs or repairs.

6.  Do not use this technology to lie, fool, or deceive another human being.  Do not involve yourself in conversations that are hurtful to others.  Be a good friend always or stay out of the crossfire. (Col. 4:6; Eph. 4:29)

7.  Do not text, email, or say anything through this device that you would not say in person.  (James 1:26; 1 Pet. 3:9-11)

8.  No porn.  Period. (Psalm 101:3)

9.  Turn it off, silence it, put it away in public, especially in worship, a restaurant, at the movies, or while speaking with another human being.  You are not a rude person.  Do not allow any device to change that.

10.  Do not send any pictures of your body parts.  Do not receive any pictures of anyone else’s body parts.  Don’t laugh.  Some day you may be tempted to do this despite your Christianity and your level of high intelligence.  It’s risky & will ruin your teenage/ college/ adult life.  It is always a bad idea.  Cyberspace is vast and more powerful than you.  It’s hard to make anything disappear, especially a bad reputation.

11.  Don’t take a zillion pictures & videos.  There’s no need to document everything.  LIVE your experiences.  They will be stored in your memories.

12.  Leave your device(s) home sometimes & feel safe and secure in that decision.  It is not alive or an extension of you.  Learn to live without it.  Be bigger and more powerful than FOMO– fear of missing out.

13.  Download music that is new or classic or different than the millions of your peers that listen to the same exact stuff.  Your generation has access to music like never before in history.  Take advantage of that gift.  Expand your horizons.

14.  Play a game with words or puzzles or brain teasers every now and then.

15.  Keep your eyes up.  See the world happening around you.  Stare out a window.  Listen to the birds.  Take a walk.  Talk to a stranger.  Wonder without googling.

16.  If you mess up, we will take away your device.  We will sit down and talk about it.  We will start over.  We are always learning.  We are on your team.  We are in this together.

17.  Think of ways each day you can use your device to encourage others & glorify God.  (1 Thess. 5:11; 1 Tim. 4:12)