Category: Christian Living

DISTRACTED

Imagine my surprise when I walked into the kitchen and discovered my pizza dough had turned into a yeasty volcano.  I didn’t intend for the dough to rise more than an hour, but I got so busy doing other things, I completely forgot all about it.  I’ve made pizza dough dozens of times.  When I made this particular batch, I did everything right.  When I set it on the counter to rise, it looked good and smelled good.  But because I got distracted, what started out as a “good thing,” turned into a mess.

Poor Martha.  She started out doing something good by welcoming Jesus into her home.  But then she jumped into busyness and next thing you know, things weren’t going the way she envisioned.  We might be quick to come to her defense.  After all, the food wasn’t going to prepare itself!  But Jesus cut to the heart of the matter.  “Martha, Martha, you are worried and bothered about so many things” (Luke 10:41).  The text tells us that Martha was distracted (v. 40).   When Martha became distracted…

She became frustrated.  I can almost hear her tone of voice when she finally asked Jesus to make Mary help her.  We’ve all been in situations where it seems there’s so much to do and too little help.  As Martha’s frustration mounted, she started feeling sorry for herself.  Her attitude soured.  She started complaining.  Martha, Martha, “be hospitable to one another without complaint” (1 Peter 4:9).

She started viewing others harshly.  Notice how Martha accused both her sister and her Lord.  She said her sister left her to do all the serving alone (Luke 10:40).  I wonder how many times she cut her eyes in her sister’s direction as she was working away?  She probably thought her sister was just being lazy, or at the very least, enjoying their special company while poor Martha was left with all the work.  Then she said to Jesus, “Lord, do You not care…?” (v. 40).  That question alone is proof positive that distractions are dangerous.  If she was in her right mind, would she have dared accuse the Messiah of not caring?  When we get overwhelmed by the extra responsibilities we take upon ourselves, we might lash out at those closest to us.  Jesus generously gave His time to Martha, but she couldn’t see that.  Mary was listening at Jesus’ feet (the implication being that He was teaching), not trying to get out of work, but Martha didn’t see it that way.  Martha’s perception of both Jesus and Mary was wrong.  How do we know she was wrong about Mary?  Because Jesus said, “Mary has chosen the good part, which shall not be taken away from her” (v. 42).   Distraction led Martha to treat others unjustly.  Martha, Martha, “with all humility and gentleness, with patience, show tolerance for one another in love” (Eph. 4:2).

She focused on the physical instead of the eternal.  And as a result, she missed out on a golden opportunity.  If Martha had sat at Jesus’ feet, she wouldn’t have been just a face in the crowd.  Jesus taught the multitudes many times.  But this time, He was in Martha’s home.  She could’ve had a special audience with the Son of God!  Martha wasn’t out doing worldly things or sinful things; she was serving.  But Jesus said she had “many things” on her mind when she should have had “one thing” on her mind (v. 41,42).  Martha chose poorly.  Because she was distracted by the urgent, she wasn’t focused on the eternal.  Martha, Martha, “set your mind on the things above, not on things of the earth” (Col. 3:2).

Prayer for Today:  Lord, help me focus on what’s truly important instead of being blinded by busy distractions.

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This article can also be found at Women Living Well

“Women are Most Beautiful at 30; Men are Most Handsome at 34”

I heard that little tidbit on the Today Show.  Apparently I’m well over a whole decade past my beauty prime.  That’s vanity, yes.  If this physical body was all I knew and cared about, I might be tempted to console myself with chocolate. (I might do that anyway.)  But even though our society idolizes the beautiful body, the Christian knows that “beauty is vain” and “the Lord looks on the heart” (Prov. 31:30; 1 Sam. 16:7).

The truth is that I’ve got a long way to go before I reach my true beauty prime.  God prizes a gentle and quiet spirit (1 Pet. 3:3,4).  Holy women adorn themselves by submitting to their own husbands (1 Pet. 3:5,6), and clothing themselves with strength and dignity (Prov. 31:25).  Dressing our best means practicing righteous acts (Rev. 19:8).  You see, presentation is everything to God, too, but He wants us to present our bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to Him (Rom. 12:1).  Gentleness, submission, honor, holiness, and serving others–this is real beauty that never fades.

As someone once said, “You can take no credit for beauty at sixteen.  But if you are beautiful at sixty, it will be your own soul’s doing.”  Those who are conforming to the image of Christ have this confidence:  “Therefore we do not lose heart, but though our outer man is decaying, yet our inner man is being renewed day by day” (2 Cor. 4:16).

Prayer for Today:  Lord, help me remove all ugliness from my heart.

**This post can also be viewed at:  LivingWell

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Shining or Shaming?

Teaching (and even admonishing) can be done without insulting or disparaging others.  Righteous indignation is something Christians will and should feel, but surely that doesn’t give us the right to passionately belittle others.  How we speak is just as important as what we speak.  And although tone is not as easily “heard” in print, word choice conveys quite a bit of the attitude behind the writer.  When making a point, orally or typewritten, consider the following reasons to omit offensive language:

To practice the Golden Rule.  We all want to learn and grow, which involves being reproved at times.  But none of us wants an insult included with the rebuke.  We would feel personally attacked instead of lovingly corrected.  We would ask the one teaching or admonishing us to do so without being ugly or smart-alecky.  So if we prefer to be taught with respect, why would it be okay to teach someone else in a disrespectful way (Matt. 7:12)?

To avoid sounding like the world.  Rudeness and name-calling are all around us.  We’re to act differently, and react differently.  Our words when teaching, correcting, or convincing need to be obviously loving, or we’re guilty of conforming to the world in an area the Bible places great emphasis on–our speech (Col. 4:6).

To demonstrate love.  The people in our lives that we dearly love sometimes need admonishing.  How do we speak to them?  Patiently.  Kindly.  Tenderly.  We would never dream of hurting or ridiculing them; we just want to help them!  So we choose our words carefully in hopes of conveying that.  If love is our motivation behind convicting others, let’s make sure no one ever has to question that (1 Cor. 13:4).

To avoid detracting from the message.  Some might think that using scorn or derision makes what we have to say more emphatic.  It emphasizes something alright.  It emphasizes the personality of the speaker/ teacher.  Is that the objective?  Speaking the truth in a respectful way does not dilute it or make it less meaningful.  On the contrary, it shows we care about getting it right (Eph. 4:15).

To represent the Lord’s church accurately.  The world is watching and listening.  They see our interactions with one another.  What are they supposed to think when they see us insulting others (while supposedly standing for what’s right), using words like “stupid,” “idiotic,” etc.?  They know disrespect when they see it, and it has no business coming out of the mouths (or keyboards) of Christians (John 13:35).

We must teach and admonish, but we must also be careful to do so in a way that shines the Light instead of shaming the church.

Prayer for Today:  Lord, may my passionate convictions be tempered with the tongue of lovingkindness.  

25 Ways to Keep Christ at the Center of My Life

I love this list so much that I made three copies of it.  I put one on our refrigerator, one on the boys’ bathroom wall, and one at eye level where the ironing board is (not that I spend a lot of time there).   This list first appeared in Neal’s “Daily Bread” about a year ago (and can also be found on his blog, http://www.preacherpollard.wordpress.com), but I wanted to share it here because I had an idea.  What if we all focus on one suggestion each day, using the number on the list that coordinates with the date?  That means today we’ll focus on #11, “I will reflect meaningfully on the price He paid at Calvary.”  Each month, start over again so that after a year of “25 Ways” in 25 days, keeping Christ at the center of our lives should be pretty ingrained.  We can share this challenge with our children and discuss it in family devotionals at the end of the day.  We can ask best friends to join in the challenge with us, and email each other encouragement.  Bible class teachers can turn this into a group effort by giving a list to each of the students.  Let’s see how much of a difference we can make in our families, churches, and communities by sharing this exciting challenge to grow ever closer to Christ!

Suggestions for how to focus on the list each day:

  1. Start and end each day with a prayer about the specific way to keep Christ at the center.
  2. Keep a journal.  Jot down Scriptures related to it, along with personal reflections.
  3. Find at least one practical way to act on it.

25 Ways to Keep Christ in the Center of My Life

By Neal Pollard

  1. I will absorb myself in the practice of prayer
  2. I will actively practice kindness
  3. I will find someone each day with whom to share Him
  4. I will watch what I allow to grow in my heart
  5. I will consider carefully how what I do effects my influence
  6. I will actively encourage the people I daily encounter
  7. I will assume and look for the best in others
  8. I will nurture a hatred of sin and a love of sinners
  9. I will treat Scripture as daily nourishment for my soul
  10. I will keep a spiritual song in my heart
  11. I will reflect meaningfully on the price He paid at Calvary
  12. I will guard my tongue
  13. I will think longingly about heaven
  14. I will contemplate ways to be involved in the church’s work
  15. I will love His church with a passion
  16. I will cut out the tendency to rationalize or defend wrongdoing
  17. I will be discerning about what is spiritual and what is worldly
  18. I will grow in my understanding of what true love is
  19. I will humbly acknowledge the greatness and power of God
  20. I will do all within my power to help answer His prayer for unity
  21. I will pursue souls with the same vigor that He did
  22. I will look for ways to turn the conversation to the spiritual
  23. I will long for times of worship and devotion
  24. I will care less and less about my rights, feelings, and desires
  25. I will think, speak, act, and look more like Him every day

Prayer for Today:  May I do all I can, dear Lord, to make it obvious that I belong to You.

Beware the Strangler Fig!

Once you hear the fascinating story of the strangler fig, you will shiver every time you see one.  The strangler fig is a large canopy tree that begins its life in an unusual way.  The seed is deposited by bird droppings on a branch of another tree.  As the seed grows, it stretches out in both directions, down toward the ground so it can build a root system, and up toward the sky so it can reach the sunlight through the jungle growth.  The strangler fig grows aggressively, and soon its roots choke off the nutrients of the host tree, while its leaves prevent the host tree from getting sunlight.  Before long, nothing is left of the host but a hollow center.  The common name for this dark jungle dweller is the banyan tree, which sounds a lot more benign than calling it what it is.  And you know where I’m going with this.  Seeds are deposited on us all the time.  Unlike the host tree of the strangler fig, we have a choice as to whether or not the little seeds grow and take over.

The seed of unpleasantness- You’ve had it dropped on you.  No matter how positive you try to be, or how much good you try to do, someone will find fault.  Someone will criticize or say something thoughtless.  You can brush it off, or you can feed it until it you find yourself resenting others.  Common name:  I’mAVictim.  Real name:  Bitterness

The seed of sensuality- It’s everywhere.  Ladies, it’s not just a problem for guys who stare at a computer all day.  It’s in TV shows like Desperate You-Name-It or The Bachelor or Dancing with the Stars.  It’s in magazines.  It’s graphically portrayed in novels.  It can even be found on Pinterest.  It can smother out all sense of purity and wholesomeness.  Common name:  Entertainment.  Real name:  Pornography.

The seed of whispering- Will you join in the conversation?  It doesn’t take much to become a participant, to look forward to the chatter, to contribute what you know.  Common name:  Confiding.  Real name:  Gossip.

The seed of chemistry- A glance here, a little flirtation there, or an exchange of emails or texts that makes your heart flutter and your cheeks hot…there’s nothing harmless about it.  It has an aggressive growth rate.  It damages relationships, and soon you might find yourself guilty of the one thing you thought you’d never do.  Common name:  Affair. Real name:  Adultery.

No matter what we’re exposed to, faced with, or tempted by, we have the choice to nip it in the bud (ha!) from the very beginning (1 Cor. 10:13), or we can let it grow and smother out the Light until nothing is left but a hollow shell of who we’re supposed to be.  “When desire has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and sin, when it is full-grown, brings forth death” (James 1:15).

Prayer for Today:  May I always be aware of any sin trying to take root in my heart.

Our group under a strangler fig at an Angkor temple in Cambodia

Living Right but Getting It Wrong

Am I righteous?  Or am I self-righteous?  It is all too possible to be doing everything right, but to have an attitude that’s all wrong.  Jesus taught this to individuals (Luke 7:40-47), to seekers (Mark 10:17-24), and even to religious groups (Matt. 15:7,8).  From these examples, we see it’s possible to think we’re righteous when we’re not.  Jesus had to point out to these people their heart problems.  They couldn’t see it for themselves.  How can we make sure we’re not just outwardly righteous?

I can be living right, but getting it wrong if I compare my righteousness to others.  Jesus told a parable about a very religious man who felt pretty good about himself when he looked around and saw that others weren’t measuring up.  He made himself the standard of righteousness!  Jesus calls this kind of attitude “exalting oneself.”  He told this parable to those who “trusted in themselves that they were righteous” and who “despised others” (Luke 18:9-14).  According to Webster, self-righteousness is “being convinced of one’s own righteousness, especially in contrast with the actions or beliefs of others.”  Jesus is our standard.  How does my righteousness compare to His?

I can be living right, but getting it wrong if I assume the worst in others.  When someone says (or posts) something  a little questionable, am I quick to correct, criticize, or condemn?   If I want to live right, I will be patient, tolerant, and loving, and viewing my fellow brothers and sisters through eyes of humility (Eph. 4:2).  This means I will give others the benefit of the doubt.  I will assume they are trying as hard as I am to live righteously.  “…In lowliness of mind, let each esteem others better than himself” (Phil. 2:3).

I can be living right, but getting it wrong if I think everyone needs to hear my opinion on any given matter.  Do I feel my thoughts are that superior?  or important?  Do I think the choices I’ve made are what’s best for everyone else?  There ARE times when we must speak and teach.  We’re to share the gospel truth every chance we get.  But there are some areas where the decisions made are matters of personal opinion.  When the Bible leaves choices in the hands of individuals (there’s more than one right way to parent, or educate, or work, or date, or diet…), we must be careful not to elevate our own opinions.  “Do not be wise in your own opinion” (Rom. 12:16).  Rom. 14 makes it clear that there will be some areas in which we can disagree in opinion.  We’re not to “pass judgment on [others’] opinions” (v. 1), but to “pursue the things which make for peace and the building up of one another” (v. 19).

How can we keep righteousness from becoming self-righteousness?   We simply honor others above ourselves (Rom. 12:10).

Prayer for Today:  May Your Son be my standard as I strive to live righteously and humbly.

Smothered in Praise

More than I should, I enjoy being acknowledged for something I’ve done.  “Honey, look how much money I’ve saved us this week by planning out all our meals!”  “Did you notice I set the coffee pot for you?”  As soon as Neal replies, “Great job!” or “Wow, thanks!” I smile with satisfaction.  Granted, I don’t prod anyone besides my husband for praise (at least not in an obvious way), but I realize I’ve got a problem with motives here.  Ideally, I should serve because I can and should, without expecting a pat on the back.  Ironically, most of the things I seek recognition for are things I’m supposed to be doing anyway.  They’re part of my responsibilities. They’re not second-mile deeds.  In order to curb my childish desire for praise, I tried an experiment.  I would go an entire week without mentioning a single accomplishment on my part.  I mentally geared up ahead of time, reminding myself that a mature Christian woman serves out of the goodness of her heart.  How did it go?  Well, let’s just say I found creative ways to seek praise.  Crawling into bed at the end of Day One, I said, “Mmm, I love the smell of freshly washed sheets.”  Neal dutifully replied, “Me, too.  Good job, Babe.”

My youngest son, Carl, shared something with me this morning that reminded me again to work on this prideful trait of mine.  He is studying ancient history, and told me the story of Draco.  Draco, who lived around 600 B.C., was a strict and serious Athenian.  He gained a reputation for harshness.  He ordered that even the smallest offense of the law be punishable by death.  People acknowledged him because he ruthlessly demanded it.  One day, Draco went to the theatre,  and when the public saw him, they threw their cloaks to him in order to honor him.  Unfortunately, he suffocated under the mass number of cloaks.  He was smothered in praise.  What he desired most became his downfall.

Seeking praise gets to be a bad habit, an unattractive character trait.  It’s a heart condition.  It’s nothing like the service that our Lord demonstrated for us, and commands of us.  We’re to serve in humility (John 13:1-17).  We’re to serve one another in love (Gal. 5:13).  We’re to serve with grace (1 Pet. 4:10).  And when we serve, we are to desire that God gets the praise and is glorified (1 Pet. 4:11).

Prayer for today:  Lord, help me renew my heart, seeking Your glory, not mine.

Rules for Technology

They’re everywhere.  Devices like iPhones, iPads, cell phones are in use all the time in every place.  Everyone in my family has them, too.  We have basic rules and guidelines in place, but I was especially impressed with a list I saw by Janell Hoffman.  She gave her son an iPhone, and a list of 18 rules she created to go along with it.  I started typing up a copy to print off and give to each of my sons, making slight adaptations as I went to remove one cuss word and to make it more of a Christian approach.  I also added a few Scripture references.  Then I decided to share the list on my blog in case anyone else would like to print off an edited copy for their family.   Many of the rules on the list are good reminders for adults, too!  Thank you to Lauren Battistelli for first posting Hoffman’s list on facebook this morning.

RULES FOR iPADS, iPHONES, & CELL PHONES

–Adapted

1.  Never be upset about your parents wanting passwords.

2.  If it rings, answer it.  Say hello, use your manners.  Never ignore a call from your parents.  Not ever.

3.  Shut the device off at a reasonable hour each evening, then turn it on again in the morning.  If you would not make a call to someone’s land line, wherein their parents may answer first, then do not call or text.  Listen to those instincts & respect other families like we would like to be respected.

4.  It does not go everywhere with you.  Have a conversation with the people you text in person.  It’s a life skill. (2 Cor. 8:7)

5.  If it falls into the toilet, smashes on the ground, or vanishes into thin air, you are responsible for replacement costs or repairs.

6.  Do not use this technology to lie, fool, or deceive another human being.  Do not involve yourself in conversations that are hurtful to others.  Be a good friend always or stay out of the crossfire. (Col. 4:6; Eph. 4:29)

7.  Do not text, email, or say anything through this device that you would not say in person.  (James 1:26; 1 Pet. 3:9-11)

8.  No porn.  Period. (Psalm 101:3)

9.  Turn it off, silence it, put it away in public, especially in worship, a restaurant, at the movies, or while speaking with another human being.  You are not a rude person.  Do not allow any device to change that.

10.  Do not send any pictures of your body parts.  Do not receive any pictures of anyone else’s body parts.  Don’t laugh.  Some day you may be tempted to do this despite your Christianity and your level of high intelligence.  It’s risky & will ruin your teenage/ college/ adult life.  It is always a bad idea.  Cyberspace is vast and more powerful than you.  It’s hard to make anything disappear, especially a bad reputation.

11.  Don’t take a zillion pictures & videos.  There’s no need to document everything.  LIVE your experiences.  They will be stored in your memories.

12.  Leave your device(s) home sometimes & feel safe and secure in that decision.  It is not alive or an extension of you.  Learn to live without it.  Be bigger and more powerful than FOMO– fear of missing out.

13.  Download music that is new or classic or different than the millions of your peers that listen to the same exact stuff.  Your generation has access to music like never before in history.  Take advantage of that gift.  Expand your horizons.

14.  Play a game with words or puzzles or brain teasers every now and then.

15.  Keep your eyes up.  See the world happening around you.  Stare out a window.  Listen to the birds.  Take a walk.  Talk to a stranger.  Wonder without googling.

16.  If you mess up, we will take away your device.  We will sit down and talk about it.  We will start over.  We are always learning.  We are on your team.  We are in this together.

17.  Think of ways each day you can use your device to encourage others & glorify God.  (1 Thess. 5:11; 1 Tim. 4:12)

Purpose of Heart

Anxiety, worry, fear, surprise, and grief.  I went to bed with these feelings swirling around in my gut.  I prayed long and hard for our nation, for thousands of unborn babies, for the future of our children, and for peace.  Yet I still felt queasy, and sleep was a long time in coming.  I thought about a quote that a former Secretary of Education shared over three decades ago:  “We have become the kind of nation that civilized societies used to send missionaries to.”  I thought about moving to Africa.  My first thought upon rising this morning was, “What are we going to do?  What can I do?”

I had to put things back into perspective.  What really matters?  What will outlast who sits in the Oval Office?  What will really make a difference?  In fact, it’s the only thing that will make a difference.  We MUST get back to being an evangelistic church.  For America to be reinstated as a Christian nation, it has to be made up of Christians.  And who can accomplish that?  Not the President.  Or a political party.  I can.

Wringing our hands or stomping our feet won’t help.  Running away won’t help.  Ranting and complaining won’t help.  Praying will, but not prayer alone.  Christ didn’t tell us to go into all the world and pray.  We must remember who we are and why we’re here.  Is my neighbor a Christian?  Are my co-workers Christians?  If not, is it because they have rejected the gospel?  Or have I neglected to share it with them?  I am praying for the hand of the Lord to be with us.  In Acts, that happened when Christians “preached the Word” and “preached the Lord Jesus.”  Then, “the hand of the Lord was with them, and a great number believed and turned to the Lord” (Acts 11:19-21).  These early Christians had been persecuted, but when Barnabas saw their zeal and efforts to teach others, he was glad.  He was encouraged.  And he encouraged them to continue their work for the Lord “with purpose of heart” (Acts 11:22-24).

What can we do?  We can double our efforts to reach the lost.  Each day each of us must look at those around us and make sure they know Christ.  Good old-fashioned Bible studies around the kitchen table and spontaneous conversations about the Word during carpool WILL make a difference.  It takes effort and energy to worry and fret, but we have better things to do with our time.  “And daily in the temple, and in every house, they did not cease teaching and preaching Jesus as the Christ” (Acts 5:42).

Prayer for Today:  Give me courage, Lord, to share Your truth with my fellow Americans.  Lead me to some soul today.

Won’t You Come Home with Me?

She was a businesswoman and a brand new Christian.  Although the Bible doesn’t say much about her (Acts 16:13-15), I know I want to be a lady like Lydia.  I admire her for loving God, which she demonstrated through her worship.  I admire her for her sincerity, which she demonstrated when she accepted and obeyed the gospel.  But I especially admire her for her open heart, which she demonstrated by her hospitality.

Lydia’s open heart led to an open home.  She began her Christian walk by inviting Paul and Luke to stay in her home.  Her heart was in the right place.  It was ready to act.  The Bible places a great emphasis on the condition of the heart because it is the source of our actions (Proverbs 4:23; 23:7).  If we ready our hearts to serve, we will find opportunities.

Lydia followed through with her impulse.  Her offer of hospitality was probably a result of multiple emotions (joy, excitement, gratitude), and she wanted to express them in a tangible way.  How many times have we thought, “We should have them over sometime,” but never act on those impulses?  Often our hearts will be touched by a need but we neglect it until it is too late.  Lydia could’ve made excuses.  She could’ve thought, “Well, I’m only a brand new Christian.”  She could’ve decided she really didn’t know Paul very well after all.  Instead, she readily opened her home to her brothers in Christ.  We shouldn’t allow excuses (the condition of the house, the level of cooking skills, or even timidity) keep us from acting on those hospitable impulses.

Lydia’s invitation was genuine.  The NKJV uses the words “she begged us” and “she persuaded us” (Acts 16:15).  “Come to my house and stay.”  When Lydia invited them into her home, she was not just being polite, half hoping they would decline.  She truly wanted to take care of them.  She removed all hesitancy on their part by pleading with them to show her sincerity.  When I was a teenager, my family moved to a small town in Georgia.  A thoughtful, older couple came to see if we needed help unpacking.  As this couple was leaving, the gentleman said, “Well, come go home with us!”  My sister and I looked at each other, then at our parents and said, “Can we?”  We ended up spending the afternoon at their home, and it wasn’t until several months later that we learned the invitation wasn’t a literal one.  “Y’all come home with us” was a regional expression folks would say at the end of a conversation.  It really meant, “Let’s get together soon.”  These new friends were good sports because they just chuckled and took us home with them (although they did tease us about it quite often over the next couple of years).  Lydia didn’t extend a half-hearted invitation.  Instead of saying, “We need to have y’all over sometime,” we need to genuinely invite, even compel others into our homes.

Lydia’s example of hospitality is a practical model for us.  With open hearts and genuine invitations, the amount of fellowship that will result can only fill our lives with joy and spiritual growth.

Prayer for Today:  Lord, help me remember that my home is Your home so I will wear it out in Your service.