Tag: phones

When Did I Get So Nosy?

By Kathy Pollard

While on the zero turn mower, Neal’s phone slipped out of his pocket and bit the dust. So the next day (Sunday) we spent ALL afternoon at T-Mobile. While waiting, I found myself listening in on conversations, observing the manager and sales associates, and even discovering the key code to the “employees only” room. I would share these various things with Neal.

“Hey, I can get us in that back room. I know what the code is!”

“They ordered 2 pepperoni pizzas for lunch. Our guy is missing out because this is taking so long.”

“Ha, did you hear what that lady said…”

Neal finally raised an eyebrow at me and said, “You’re really into this, aren’t you?” I just shrugged but did start to wonder why I was blatantly eavesdropping and not minding my own business.

It didn’t take long before it dawned on me. I didn’t have my phone. The guy helping us had both of our phones in his possession. If I’d had my phone during such a long wait, I would’ve found something to work on, or answered messages, or simply trolled. The boredom felt foreign to me and I didn’t know what to do. I’d already been through everything in my purse to pass the time (hand lotion, chapstick, gum). The only thing left was to pay attention to the people around me.

As we finally got up to leave, I told one of the other associates (who goes by Shaq but answers the phone as Shaquille), “I feel like we’re friends!” I’d joked around with him a couple of times while we were there. Without even hesitating, he said, “We are!” I walked out the door laughing.

I have a feeling if I’d been on my phone the whole time, I would’ve walked out the door grumbling about how we lost an entire Sunday afternoon. I’m quick to point out how important it is to quit staring down at our phones and start looking up at the people around us, but apparently not so good about living it out. It was a humbling and eye-opening experience. How often do I do that? How much LIFE is passing me by while I “work” on a screen? There are real people all around me and it is way more worthwhile (and joyful!) to see and engage with them.

“Look, I tell you, lift up your eyes, and see that the fields are white for harvest.“

(John 4:35)

Would it be weird for me to pop into T-Mobile sometime just to see how they’re doing?

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Unplugged Attention

I crave that, don’t you?  I long for conversations without devices.  Just a few minutes of uninterrupted connecting.  Of having someone’s eyes looking at my face for just a little while without sneaking a peek at their phone.  I’d like to walk into a room and see people interested in one another instead of hooked like an IV to their own digi-world.

There’s always a good reason for holding our devices so close.  We’re waiting for answers to queries or reports from our kids.  We’re checking in for flights or checking the stats on an order.  We’re posting pics to document the moment.

There are lots of efficient and cool things we can be doing, but do we really have to do them when we’re with real people?  Is whatever we’re checking or doing that essential?  More often than not, it’s not.  When there’s a five second lull in the conversation, that seems to be the cue to whip out something of more interest.  And sometimes there isn’t even a lull.  Sometimes the device comes out smack dab in the middle of a sentence.

This might label me old-fashioned, but I can’t help but think it’s just rude.  And yes, I’m guilty.  Maybe it bothers me now because I’m getting older and more aware of how quickly time is passing.  Which is more precious–face to face interaction with loved ones or face to device time?  Which will we look back on and wish we’d spent more time doing?

Unplugged attention is a form of respect.  It tells others we think they’re important and we want to make the most of our time with them.  It allows us to enjoy the full experience of communication and interaction.  It prevents us from missing out on body language cues or what’s going on around us.

I came across a sobering quote:  “You will never have this day with your children again” (Jan Hatmaker).  When it comes to time with our children or our spouses or our church family, we are squandering precious moments when we are only partially engaged.

Unplugged attention is intentional.  Let’s stop excusing ourselves and start paying attention.  I don’t think we’ll miss the devices, and I don’t think we’ll regret the investment in others.

“So teach us to number our days that we may get a heart of wisdom” (Psalm 90:12).

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