How to have a Real Conversation

Yesterday, Neal and I enjoyed a great conversation with a 95-year-old man.  In the course of our brief time together, he said things like:

  • I celebrate our relationship.
  • A Scripture I read the other day reminded me…
  • In Romans 12…
  • Have you seen this great article in the Gospel Advocate?
  • Let’s sing a couple of songs.
  • May we pray together?

Anyone who knows this man knows that his speech is often seasoned with spiritual substance.  Sprinkled throughout talk of the Rockies, our boys, and his grandchildren, this sterling gentleman naturally referenced God’s Word, the Lord’s church, and the beauty of Heaven.  We did sing together, just the three of us.  “Angels are Singing” and “Be with me, Lord” never sounded so sweet!

I keep thinking back over that conversation.  It was so REAL because it was filled with eternal matters.  I’ve known and admired this man for over eight years, but I was still caught off guard a couple of times by his seemingly unorthodox requests.  “Let’s sing a couple of songs.”  What, right now?  “I’d like for you to read these two paragraphs I found about Ephesians One.”  If we’re reading, no one is talking.  But the silence was only mildly uncomfortable at first.  Then it seemed natural and right and beneficial.

I’m grateful for the example of how to have a real conversation.  Too often I get caught up in going through the polite motions, saying what’s expected, or neglecting opportunities to encourage.  I loved the multiple references to God’s Word and I was especially drawn to how naturally they flowed from this Christian man’s lips.  I saw him as a real man who knows how to talk about real things.

Neal and I left smiling and refreshed.  One conversation did that for us because of its substance.  I’ve been thinking back over the interactions I’ve had this week and I’m challenged to engage in more REAL (face to face) conversations with my husband, my children, my church family, close friends, and with my neighbors.

For those who live according to the flesh

set their minds on the things of the flesh, 

but those who live according to the Spirit, 

the things of the Spirit.

–Romans 8:5

Prayer for Today:  Help me, Lord, to have a mind so set on You that my words more often mirror Yours.

*This post can also be found at http://proverbs14verse1.blogspot.com/2014/08/wise-woman-linkup_13.html.

 

Serious Bible Study is Not Just for Men

The title of this post is one of the assignments I’ve been given for Polishing the Pulpit, and what a great study it has been!  I knew I would love it and need it.

Have you ever been to a ladies’ day or ladies’ retreat where the topic was fluffy?  Where it seemed like the decorating theme must’ve taken precedence over the study theme?  It’s all cotton candy and no meat (but it’s pretty!).  Well, there’s nothing wrong with that.  Ladies’ days and retreats are extras.  They’re sweet times of fellowship meant to encourage and uplift.  However, I think we sell ourselves (and our teen girls) short.  I think we need to thirst for deeper waters so that we can be “filled with the knowledge of His will in all wisdom and spiritual understanding, that we may walk worthy of the Lord, fully pleasing Him… and increasing in the knowledge of God.”  That was Paul’s prayer for the saints (Col. 1:9,10).

Knowledge, wisdom, and spiritual understanding.  We won’t gain any of those unless we become serious about Bible study.  Do you consider yourself a serious student of God’s Word?  If not, why not?  What could be more important?  What could possibly take precedence in our lives over “increasing in the knowledge of God”?  Believe you me, these   are questions I’m asking myself, too.

Let’s encourage each other and let’s challenge each other to study for ourselves instead of just relying on the study that others have done.  Serious Bible study is for all of us.

Prayer for Today:  Your Word, Lord, is living and powerful.  Help me be more convicted to spend quality time every day discovering its truths.

 

 

Status Accountability

If it’s true that encouragement can change people, then it must also be true that discouragement can as well, only not for the good.  Discouragement removes joy, causes doubt, questions abilities, and can make one want to give up.  No doubt we’ve all experienced it.  Certainly none of us want to be the cause of it.

Social media has increased our accountability.  Consider the words of Jesus:

I tell you, on the day of judgment people will give account for every careless word they speak, for by your words you will be justified, and by your words you will be condemned” (Matt. 12:36, 37).

Our words impact others and we are being held accountable for each and every one.  With every posted status or comment, we must ask, “Will this bring sunshine or gloom to the reader?”  Of course I’m not talking about prayer requests.  It is blessing to be able to “rejoice with those who rejoice, and weep with those who weep” (Rom. 12:15).  I’m talking about ways we might negatively impact others.  For instance:

  • If the very first time we contact someone is to object, criticize, or point out a perceived wrong, it probably won’t have the kind of effect we hope it will.  Relationship is necessary.  Just because we are “friends” or followers on social media doesn’t mean we’ve built the kind of rapport essential to any kind of admonishment being well received.
  • While venting may temporarily relieve our own frustration, it really doesn’t do much for the reader no matter how wittily we word it.  Everyone experiences bad customer service, careless drivers on the road, messed up orders, or any number of life’s daily annoyances.  What do we hope to gain by sharing it?  Sympathy?  The comments generally show that all we’re doing is reminding others how frustrating life can be.  Surely we want to accomplish something better than that with our words.  Complaining is just a bad habit (Phil. 2:14).
  • We’re not going to agree with everything written or posted, but let’s choose our battles wisely.  And let’s consider our influence as Christians with the tone we use.  No matter how “right” we may be, sarcasm still sounds obnoxious.
  • And finally, we really are not meant to be the Police of Social Media.  Let’s not be Facebook trollers out to catch others doing bad.  Let’s catch others doing good.  While there may be times when we can and should offer a gentle word (in private) of admonishment, more often than not we can and should offer grace.

We know that we should think before we speak.  Sometimes we need to be reminded to think before we post as well.

“Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear” (Eph. 4:29).

Prayer for Today:  Help me use my words, Lord, to draw others closer to You.

Image credit: Facebook (mslk.com)

Weary and Discouraged in Your Soul

I’m almost afraid to write this because I know I won’t do it justice.  This morning I felt like I needed to study the subject of faithfulness and landed in Hebrews 12.  The rich text spoke directly to my heart.  I became still as I absorbed some timely truths and reminders.  Truly, “the word of God is living and active…and able to judge the thoughts and intentions of the heart” (Heb. 4:12).

Are you weary and discouraged in your soul?  Weariness and discouragement don’t claim us after minor incidents, brief trials, or single slip-ups.  They are the result of time–an extended period of time dealing with something weighing.

  • In your marriage.  Perhaps you’ve been working through some issues that seem to keep cropping up no matter what.  You are decades into your marriage but still face disappointment on a regular basis.  Your thoughts might run along the lines of, “You’d think after all these years we’d have this figured out by now.  I’m sick and tired of dealing with this.”
  • With your health.  You or your loved one might be dealing with chronic illness.  Perhaps you’re battling cancer or just trying to survive one painful day at a time.  You wonder when or if you’ll get better. You may be thinking, “What have I done to deserve this?  I just want one good day of strength and relief.  Is that too much to ask?
  • Trying to make a living.  Maybe you can’t seem to get a reliable job that will make enough to take care of your needs.  Or perhaps you’re trying to raise support to do mission work and can’t understand why many aren’t willing to contribute.  You think, “I’m a hard worker and believe in clean living.  Why do I struggle to make ends meet?”  Or, “I’m just trying to do the Lord’s work.  Doesn’t anyone believe in my efforts?”
  • In your spiritual walk.  Do the same temptations keep tripping you up?  Perhaps you find yourself praying for forgiveness again and again.  You look in the mirror and label yourself, “Weakling.”  You feel like a hypocrite.  You might wonder, “Why can’t I overcome this?  Is God fed up with me?”

In various areas of our lives, we can become weary and discouraged.  Some give up.  After decades of marriage, a spouse walks out.  After years of God’s faithfulness, a Christian turns away.  It’s heartbreaking.  A recurring theme in the book of Hebrews is “hold fast” (3:14; 10:23).  In chapter 12, it seems there are two different types of situations that can discourage us from doing just that.

1.  TRIALS (Heb. 12:1-3)

Do trials get any easier to bear when they’re longterm?  Does one become immune to weariness after months or years of struggle?  Just ask someone who’s living it.  Their battle is daily and as real as it was in the beginning, if not more so.  This is where “weary and discouraged in your soul” is used by the Hebrews writer, and he gives us ways to prevent it from happening.

Lay aside.  “Lay aside every weight, and the sin which so easily ensnares us” (v. 1).  Burdens and sins are sometimes companions.  Whatever is weighing on us can lead to anger, resentment, bitterness, and a waning of faith in God’s promises.  We must resist the temptation to think our prayers are useless and keep praying, keep asking God to lift the weight.  Each new day, try again to lay it all aside.

Run.  “Run with endurance the race that is set before us” (v. 1).  Endurance is the key, isn’t it?  The question is, “What am I going to do?”  The answer is, “Keep going.”  We know where we’re going and that’s Heaven.  Even when feeling beat up on, we must just keep running, one foot in the front of the other.

Look.  Because God knows that endurance is easier said than done, He tells us where to keep our focus.  “Looking unto Jesus, the author and finisher of our faith” (v. 2).  Focus on Jesus.  Why?  Because He “endured the cross” (v. 2) and “endured such hostility from sinners against Himself” (v. 3).  Through no fault of His own, He suffered but He endured.  He put His faith into action and kept going.

2.  WEAKNESSES (12:5-13)

Children of God need the chastening of the Lord.  We have weaknesses.  After reminding us of the importance of God’s discipline, the Hebrews writer tells us how to endure when battling our own weaknesses (and this is the part of the chapter that caught my attention this morning).

Strengthen.  “Strengthen the hands which hang down and the feeble knees” (v. 12).  What are hands which hang down?  The NASU reads “hands which are weak.”  To hang down or be weak comes from a word which means to release, to let go, to hurl.  What a visual!  This is when we just let go instead of holding fast.  The Hebrew Christians were returning to their old ways (Judaism) and don’t we do the same?  We give in to our weaknesses and old habits.  Feeble knees are those which have relaxed or loosened.  It’s the very opposite standing firm.  To strengthen means to make right again, to erect.  If we’ve let go, we need to strengthen our resolve to keep trying to do right.

Straighten.  “Make straight paths for your feet, so that what is lame may not be dislocated, but rather be healed” (v. 13).  I love this verse.  It’s encouraging to know that there are times when we’ll be broken but we can still be healed.  A broken spiritual life or even a broken marriage can be made whole.  To make straight paths for your feet means to create a way that is right, like wagon ruts that are safe to follow because they will lead to where you want to go.  “So that the lame may not be dislocated.”  The NASU reads “so that the limb which is lame may not be put out of joint.”  A more literal reading would be “that it be not turned out of the way.”  Giving in to our own weaknesses can cause us to go astray or be wayward.  Instead, we must make straight paths so we can heal, so we can keep going in the right direction, albeit a bit more slowly.

Whether through outside trials or our own weaknesses, there may be times when we feel weary and discouraged.  A very human response is to want to give up, but God tells us we can endure and we can be healed.  I trust that, don’t you?  Sometimes it’s just good to be reminded.

Do I Help Others Thank God?

We are spending time together as a family, all five of us, and I am soaking it all in.  I am mindful of the many reasons to thank God for family, for love, for commitment, and for memories.  I am thanking God for the reminder to treasure the here and now and to embrace His gifts.  Even when facing difficulties or experiencing hardships, God showers us with reasons to enjoy the pleasurable sensation of gratitude.  Because of that, I want to be more diligent in showering others with reasons to look up and praise God.

  • With my husband, may I daily give him reasons to thank God for our marriage.  This means each morning I must renew the commitment to love unconditionally.
  • With my sons, may I help them see God’s forgiveness, patience, and tenderness by offering those consistently as their parent.  My love for them should make it easier for them to understand God’s love for them.
  • With my fellow Christians, may I give them reasons to praise God for companionship, encouragement, and sincere interest.  What a unique blessing the Lord’s church is!  May I do my part to help others remember that.
  • With those in my community, may I look for ways to cause them to pause and look up, to see God as the source of all good.  This means I must look like His Son as much as possible by being friendly, by being unselfish.  I can’t live unto myself but must look around with interest in the souls around me.

Today is always the beginning of our future.  I pray that I will do so much better in showering others with reasons to thank God.  Nothing is more important than making sure my life (my actions and my attitude) makes it easier for others to see God.

Prayer for Today:  Thank You, Lord, for showering me with reasons to praise You.  Please help me do better at intentionally helping others see You.

Teens in the Word

Some have asked what Teens in the Word is all about and I’m happy to discuss one of the highlights of our week.  There’s nothing out of the ordinary about it.  Very simply, we just wanted to provide an opportunity for our teens to learn how to study the Bible for themselves.  No matter what they hear in life or what they’re exposed to, if they know how to study, they’ll be able to discern between Truth and deception (2 Tim. 3:15).  They’ll know where to turn when their faith is shaky (Rom. 10:17).  And they’ll continue to grow spiritually as they are guided and molded by the powerful Word (Heb. 4:12).   Here’s the setup:

  • Teens in the Word meets in our home every Tuesday night.
  • The teens spend the first half hour or so enjoying a hot cooked meal and fellowshipping.
  • Then they spend an hour and a half getting into God’s Word.

That’s all there is to it!  Now for the fun facts:

-Michael Hite, one of the individuals who first came up with the idea, has devoted his time to teaching the teens every week.  He has done an outstanding job of showing them how to find and mark key words, how to understand context, how to ask questions of the text, and much more.  The few adults present are learning as much as the teens!  He has chosen Colossians 1: 9-12 as our theme, emphasizing “gaining knowledge to walk worthy.”  He even designed a great logo with this idea and had it placed on hoodies for each of the teens.  Michael provided a Question Box the very first week.  The questions submitted have given us a glimpse into the hearts of these young people.  They think deep and they care about souls.

-Lynn Hite and I were just going to take turns providing the meal each week.  Little did we know that parents would start volunteering to bring the meal (enough to feed 30).  Even members who don’t have teens have offered to help!  We’ve been so encouraged by all the ladies who have looked for ways to be involved.

-Honestly, we thought Teens in the Word would start out strong and then dwindle down to “the faithful few.”  How wrong we were!  The numbers continue to grow and we love seeing enthusiasm build.  Even though they have homework and extracurricular activities, these teens are still willing to devote an extra night each week to Bible study.  Some come straight from coaching, arriving too late for the meal but still wanting to participate in the study.  Their dedication has been humbling and inspiring.

-And finally, one of the most exciting developments….While originally intended for Bear Valley members, Teens in the Word has grown to include new friends from the community.  We are thrilled with the young men (and a mom) who have shown up each week to study God’s Word, even though they at first didn’t know any of the other teens.  These new relationships have greatly enriched our Tuesday nights together.

Occasionally we have to cancel a study because of scheduling conflicts or travel.  Tonight is one of those occasions.  I imagine I’m not the only one who will be missing the fellowship and study with such dear and genuine teens.  They want to be challenged spiritually.  They want to grow in the knowledge of Christ.  I thank God for them and for the way He is using them to bless us.

Prayer for Today:  Thank you, Lord, for all young people who love Your Word.

the very first Teens in the Word

When Christianity is Threatened

Do you ever feel like the odds are against Christians?  Or that we’re being ganged up on?  It seems like any view or practice can be promoted except biblical ones.  How long will preachers be able to share the Truth freely?  Will there come a day when the gospel is threatened, perhaps banned?  If so, it won’t be the first time.

God has given us a game plan and that comforts me.  Today’s post is one that we must share with our children, our Bible classes, our friends, and our youth groups.  It will bolster our courage.  It will help us get ready for whatever comes.

Text:  Acts 4

The setting:  Peter and John had been preaching about Jesus.  Some influential people were “greatly disturbed” enough to put them in custody.  Then, in front of a large crowd, the two outspoken Christians were put on the spot.  They were asked, “By what power or by what name have you done this?”  I can envision Peter lifting his chin and raising his voice as he named Jesus Christ and said, “Nor is there salvation in any other, for there is no other name under heaven given among men by which we must be saved!”  That was all it took.  Let’s see what we can learn from the dramatic events that unfolded.

The Catalyst (v. 13,14)

  • -The people “saw the boldness” of Christians (v. 13).
  • -The people “realized that they had been with Jesus” (v. 13).
  • -The people “could say nothing against it” (v. 14).

The Reaction (v. 17-21)

  • -The influential people planned. “Let us severely threaten them, that from now on they speak to no man in this name.”  Their goal was to make sure that the name of Jesus would “spread no further among the people” (v. 17).
  • -The people “commanded [the Christians] not to speak at all nor teach in the name of Jesus” (v. 18).
  • -The people “further threatened them” (v. 21).

The Solution (v. 19-31)

  • -Determine to listen to God instead of the people (v. 19).
  • -Keep speaking (v. 20).
  • -Glorify God (v. 21).
  • -Talk to God as a united group (v. 24).
  • -PRAY.  Ask God for continued boldness to speak His Word in light of threats (v. 29, 31).
  • -Then ACT by speaking the word of God with all boldness (v. 31).

The Outcome (v. 32-37)

  • -The Christians were united (v. 32).
  • -They had “great power” and “great grace” (v. 33).
  • -The Christians took care of each other (v. 34, 35).
  • -It spurred other Christians to act (v. 37).

When the Christians were threatened, they must’ve been intimidated.  Surely they felt fear. But instead of simply lamenting the fact that those in authority were anti-Jesus, they turned to God, prayed for boldness, and then continued to speak up for Christ.  May Christians today do the same!

“Why did the nations rage,

and the people plot vain things?

The kings of the earth took their stand, 

and the rulers were gathered together against the Lord

and against His Christ.”

(Acts 4:25,26)

Image credit:  Michael Hite
Image credit: Michael Hite

Pretty Side Up

Most of my tablecloths have a pretty side and a not so pretty side.  If I sit down to eat with my family and notice that I put the tablecloth on wrong side up, I think, “Oops.  Oh well, it’s just my family.”  I’m a lot more careful when we have guests.  I make sure they only see the pretty side.  Shame on me.  Of course I’m not really talking about tablecloths.  I’m talking about those times when I act prettier for others than I do for my own dear family.

Shame on me when I snap in irritation at my husband or children.  I would never dream of snapping at a neighbor or church member lest they think I’m unpleasant to be around.

Shame on me when I make my impatience obvious to my family but with everyone else I cover it up with a smile.

Shame on me when I use harsher words with my family to make a point but choose my words more carefully and tenderly with friends.

Shame on me when I roll my eyes when my husband asks me to do something for him but act all eager to please when others do the same.

My family deserves my prettier side.  I do have one and I know how to display it when I think it matters.  Why would I rob the ones who matter most of sweetness but go to great lengths to brighten up for everyone else?   I prove my love for my family when I care enough to give them the best side of me.

Prayer for Today:  May I daily cherish my family, Lord, by showing them the same grace and honor I extend to others.

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A Nagging Woman is in the House

“Hen-pecked” is great imagery because it’s easy to picture that sharp-beaked chicken peck, peck, pecking an innocent bystander.  The Bible minces no words when describing the nagging woman.  No one wants to be around her (Prov. 21:9) and she is as annoying as a continual drip on a rainy day (Prov. 27:15).

Godly wives try to avoid nagging.  We don’t want to make our husbands miserable and we know God expects us to respect and honor them (Eph. 5:33).  But I don’t think the home is the only place where nagging women can be found.  Nagging involves persistent fault-finding, criticizing, grumbling, and harassing.  If we’re not careful, we can become the constant dripping in the church.  The shrew on the pew:

  • Watches members with a critical eye.  You can see her lift her eyebrows when she spies a teen with an odd hairstyle or a youth minister laughing too loudly.
  • Knows what’s best for everyone.  She tsk-tsks at the antics of young couples or the decisions made by the elders.  She doubts most people really know what they’re doing.
  • Stirs up trouble.  She can’t seem to help dropping a whispered word here and there questioning the character of unsuspecting brothers and sisters.
  • Is never satisfied.  In her mind, no one calls enough, visits enough, or cares enough.
  • Doubts the sincerity of others.  When others offer a kind word or gesture, she questions their motives or assumes they’re only duty-driven.

Harpies in the house of the Lord create an unwelcome, harsh environment.  Women truly play a big role in the overall tone of the church.  Am I compassionate and encouraging?  Or am I quick to peck God’s family to death?

Prayer for Today:  Thank you, Lord, for women who demonstrate Your love to all the saints.

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Perhaps the Most Important Thing We Must Teach Our Children

Sometimes I feel overwhelmed by the knowledge that Neal and I are responsible for the three precious souls with which God has blessed us.  Their physical care, their emotional well-being, and their spiritual training are daily being molded by our guidance and example.  Even after 20 years of parenting, I still shake my head with the sheer import of that truth.  But really, I think there is one significant thing that our children must know, must believe, must do in order to be set for life and for eternal life.  They must always turn to the Word of God.  No matter where my children end up or what circumstances they find themselves facing, I pray their knee-jerk reaction will be to open the Bible.  Here are a few reasons why I think dependence on the Bible is the most important thing to instill in our children:

  • The Bible, and only the Bible, gives them the plan of salvation.  It ultimately doesn’t matter what any professor, religious leader, parent or grandparent says…God is the only One who does the saving and so He is the only One who gets to tell us how that happens.  And He has done that for us in His Word (Mark 16:16).  The Bible teaches our children how to have a relationship with God, how to pray, how to be a genuine Christian (Matt. 7:21).
  • The Bible provides answers for their questions.  Where did we come from?  Why are we here?  What is our purpose?  Lots of people have lots of interesting ideas about these areas, but our Creator knows us better than we know ourselves (Psalm 33:13-15).  Any who seek answers to life’s questions will be satisfied if they turn to the Bible  (2 Peter 1:3).
  • The Bible helps them weather the storms.  My children may one day face job loss, health problems, disappointments, powerful temptations, painful experiences, or marital strife.  They will probably receive advice from well-meaning friends and loved ones or professionals, but only the Bible will enable them to survive.  It will comfort them when distraught (Psalm 119:107), arm them for spiritual battle (Eph. 6:10ff), and help them remain faithful till death (Heb. 10:23).
  • The Bible determines what is right and what is wrong.  Doesn’t that seem like an especially huge deal right now with social media, news anchors, outspoken celebrities and politicians all telling us what to believe and what to accept?  Many people are embracing their feelings as their guide instead of what’s right and logical.  If our children hear such convincing messages often enough from multiple avenues, they might question how so many could be so wrong.  The Bible will warn our children about that (Matt. 7:13,14).  If our children know to turn a deaf ear to the world and listen only to God, they will be able to discern the difference between Satan’s lies and God’s Truth (John 8:31,32).

Truly, there are many other reasons why it is so important for our children to feel dependent on the Bible.  Job success, physical health, and becoming an upstanding citizen are all good and important.  But the single most important thing I desire for my children is that they go to Heaven.  How can we teach them to rely on the Bible?  They must see us always turning to God’s Word in every situation.  They must hear us answer their questions with, “Let’s see what the Bible says about that.”  They must experience for themselves the genuine faith that comes from daily Bible study (Rom. 10:17).  And after it’s all said and done, and they face Christ on their own, they will be judged by His Word.

He who rejects Me, and does not receive My words, has that which judges him—the word that I have spoken will judge him in the last day” (John 12:48).

Prayer for Today:  Lord, I beg You, help me instill complete trust in Your Word in the hearts of my children.

*This post can also be found at:  http://proverbs14verse1.blogspot.com/2014/04/special-news-and-wise-woman-linkup.html