A Perspective Shift

By Kathy Pollard

I had two major projects in mind for our fair-weather, mostly-free weekend. One was outside, one was inside, and both required help from my strong husband. Instead I ended up taking him to Urgent Care on Friday and he spent the weekend on antibiotics and pain meds with his left leg elevated. I felt bad for him but also felt sorry for myself for my foiled plans.

On top of that, our 11-year-old Westipoo started having nighttime anxiety. I felt bad for him but also felt sorry for me because all that shaking and panting is interfering with decent sleep.

Grumble, grumble.

Then as I was in the kitchen Saturday night, I heard Neal gasp in the living room. I ran in there to find him looking at his phone and saying, “Oh no! Oh no!” I was so afraid to ask, “What happened?!” Our 3-year-old grandson got ahold of something toxic and was being medevaced to Vanderbilt.

I know it’s happened to you, too. You head into your weekend with plans but they’re upended. You wring your hands about something trifling only to have a real crisis come along and make you feel silly for ever giving the trifle a thought.

It’s the unexpected, horrible, fearful moments that sharpen my focus. I HATE them but apparently I still need them. Who cares about my neglected projects?! Neither of them were important. What’s the big deal about a few nights of fitful sleep? Many people lose sleep for far more serious reasons. I felt ashamed for complaining. I felt grateful for life, family, and answered prayers.

Last night in worship we sang, “All my life He has been faithful. All my life He has been so, so good. With every breath that I am able I will sing of the goodness of God.” I couldn’t even finish the song as the words hit me square in the heart and tears coursed down my cheeks.

I hope I’ll remember the lesson a little longer this time. When I was sulking, God knew what was coming. And in the middle of the 24-hour window of panic and pleading, I was reminded me of His grace and patience. I saw God’s tender care in the prayers and hugs from our church family. I saw the strength and faith of my son and daughter-in-law as their little boy struggled all night. I saw the selflessness of friends and family as they jumped in to watch the other children, feed their animals, and fill a pulpit.

When I awoke this morning, I didn’t give a single thought to unfinished projects. I thanked God that our grandson is going to be okay. I didn’t lose a weekend, I gained a better perspective.

“For you, O Lord, are good and forgiving, abounding in steadfast love to all who call upon You.”

(Psalm 86:5)

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Never Tear Down

By Kathy Pollard

The book of Nehemiah opens with an emotional scene. Having heard the disturbing news about the broken wall and burned gates of Jerusalem, Nehemiah sat down and wept. He mourned for days, fasted, and prayed (Nehemiah 1:3-4). As cupbearer to Artaxerxes, Nehemiah was not allowed to display his emotions. He was supposed to maintain a stoic composure while serving the Babylonian king. That is why he was “very much afraid” when the king said, “Why is your face sad, seeing you are not sick? This is nothing but sadness of the heart” (2:2). He must have been surprised and relieved when Artaxerxes offered to help him instead of punishing him. Nehemiah got permission to go to Judah and he immediately encouraged the people, “Come, and let us build up the wall of Jerusalem.” They responded to his passionate plea by saying, “Let us rise up and build,” and they “strengthened their hands for this good work” (2:17-18). Unfortunately, the very next verse introduces some troublemakers.  As soon as Sanballat, Tobiah, and Geshem heard the news about the rebuilding of the wall, they made it their mission to discourage the work (2:19). Through a series of scheming attacks, these three men kept Nehemiah on his knees in prayer for protection.  

Thankfully we would never attack God’s people with such vicious intention, nor would we make it our mission to tear down. But while we cannot imagine ourselves being seen as “adversaries” (4:15) of God’s people, I’m afraid there are times when our own attitudes or actions do in fact discourage the work. In the book of Nehemiah, we can easily identify the bad guys.  They are hateful and easy to dislike. But I wonder how they viewed themselves? They were men of position and importance. They thought the work of the Jews was in direct rebellion against the king (2:19).  They were wrong but they were acting on their own agenda. Perhaps there are times when we become so agenda-driven that we lose sight of the real mission (Mark 16:15). We can become the ones actually tearing down the good work. How sad when others can easily see the harm we are doing! To make sure we are not guilty of it or blind to it, let’s remember how Nehemiah’s naysayers behaved.

THEY WERE LED BY THEIR EMOTIONS

When Sanballat heard about the building of the wall, he was “angry and greatly enraged” (4:1). When Sanballat, Tobias, and others heard about the good progress being made, they were “very angry” (4:7) and upset enough to want to do harm (6:2). These men seemed to be reactionary. As soon as they heard something they didn’t like, they became furious and were quick to do something about it.

How often have we been guilty of the same thing? Many of our regrets are probably over things we said or did in the “heat of the moment.” Emotions like anger, fear, disappointment, jealousy, and even discouragement can lead us to say or do harmful things if not kept in check. “He that hath no rule over his own spirit is like a city that is broken down, and without walls” (Proverbs 25:28). Walls are for a city’s protection. Without them, a city is vulnerable to attacks. That’s part of the reason why Nehemiah was so distraught when he learned of the condition of the walls of Jerusalem. When we lack self-control, we leave ourselves more vulnerable to the enemy. Satan can use us as his tools and for his purposes when we aren’t thinking clearly. The fruit of the Spirit includes self-control (Galatians 5:22-23). When we do not practice self-control we are more likely to walk in the flesh, which includes “biting and devouring one another,” anger, and strife (Galatians 5:15-21).  

Build up instead. To safeguard against being reactionary, we must remember that the heart cannot always be trusted (Proverbs 28:26; Jeremiah 17:9). If there’s something we disagree with or don’t like, we must first look into the mirror of God’s Word for guidance (James 1:23-25). Then we will give the benefit of the doubt, practice patience, offer compassion, and always, always keep the big picture in mind, which is the building up of the kingdom (Ephesians 4:1-16).   

THEY TARGETED THE LEADERSHIP

When Nehemiah first heard about the problem, he chose to do something about it. He was the one who motivated everyone else to rebuild the wall.  He rolled up his sleeves and got to work. The troublemakers knew this and so they began to mock and ridicule him in the presence of others (2:19). Then they sent a message directly to Nehemiah (6:2).  

It is easy to be an “arm chair quarterback” in the church. Some are quick to question the leadership when they don’t like a decision that’s been made. They criticize the elders in conversations with others. Instead of being a part of the solution, they take the wind out of the sails of those who care enough to get their hands dirty and work. We must be very careful to not discourage church leaders. God has put them in that position (Titus 1:5) and commanded us to “esteem them very highly in love for their work’s sake” (1 Thessalonians 5:12-13). Nehemiah ended up feeling despised (4:4). May we never be guilty of causing the same feelings in our own good leaders!

Build up instead. Imagine how much stronger a church can be when her shepherds are encouraged, loved, and supported! We can tell the elders we’re praying for them, that we appreciate their sacrifice and labor of love (1 Timothy 5:17). We can freely offer our own services to help fill the gaps in local work.  We can build them up in the presence of others.  We can protect them by refusing to listen to harsh criticisms against them (1 Timothy 5:19). We can do our part to create a culture that respects authority in our own congregations. Everyone wins when the leaders are lifted up!

THEY USED THEIR WORDS AS WEAPONS

Sanballat, Tobiah, and Geshem began mocking Nehemiah and his fellow workers (2:20). Then they mocked all the Jews, calling them “feeble” (4:2). They tried to make the Jews feel inadequate. They tried to make them doubt their ability to build. “Will they restore it for themselves? Will they revive the stones out of the heaps of rubbish, and burned ones at that?” (4:2). Tobiah wanted them to feel like their work was worthless. He said, “Yes, what they are building–if a fox goes up on it he will break down their stone wall!” (4:3).

Perhaps the quickest way to tear down others is with our words.  “Death and life are in the power of the tongue” (Proverbs 18:21).  We can damage our marriages with hurtful words because we know where our spouse’s vulnerabilities lie. Whether we truly intended to or not, we can discourage good workers in the kingdom by causing them to question their own abilities. In this age of social media, it’s especially easy to wreak havoc.  We can harm reputations by labeling others.  We can post just enough to cause people to wonder about the soundness of certain individuals. Instead of having a loving conversation in private when there is a differing view or opinion, some have used every opportunity to ridicule a brother in a public manner. Condescension, insults, and sarcasm are used by those who have no problem with discouraging others.  

Build up instead. Surely the quickest and easiest way is with life-giving words. We can be more intentional about lacing our speech with grace (Colossians 4:6). We can make sure we only say things that will build others up and “minister grace unto the hearers” (Ephesians 4:29). We can accomplish so much good with sincere words of encouragement.  

THEY ATTEMPTED TO GET OTHERS ON THEIR SIDE

When Sanballat mocked the Jews, he “spoke before his brethren and the army of Samaria” (4:2). When they later heard of the progress being made, Sanballat and others “conspired all of them together, to come and to fight against Jerusalem, and to hinder it” (4:8). This got so bad that Nehemiah had to set up round the clock guards while they tried to continue building the wall (4:9).  Sanballat knew there was strength in numbers.  

We may try to defend, validate, or strengthen our position by looping others in on it.  We can create strife in the Lord’s church by complaining to others about a certain brother or leader. We can hurt our own marriages by trying to gain sympathy from best friends or parents when our spouse upsets us. We feel bigger and “righter” when we pull more people over to our side.

Build up instead. God wants His people to promote peace and unity (Ephesians 4:3). If we have a problem with someone, our options are to let it go (Proverbs 19:11) or go to that person in private (Matthew 18:15). We can make sure all of our actions will promote healing in the church body instead of strife.

THEY USED FEAR TACTICS

The fear felt by God’s people was visible (4:14). This must have been the method that Sanballat and his gang thought would be most effective.  Through some scheming and deception, they hoped fear would lead to discouragement which would paralyze the work. They even accused God’s people of things that weren’t true concerning their motives and agenda (6:6-7). Nehemiah recognized it for what it was (6:9).

Even the Lord’s church has her share of tormentors. Anyone who glories in “beating down” another person with powerful arguments or fierce demeanor, who boasts of their own verbal victories, who uses veiled threats or intimidation has become nothing less than a bully.

Build up instead. The “spirit of fear” does not come from God (2 Timothy 1:7). We can do the same thing Nehemiah did to help God’s people get past it. He reminded them to keep their eyes on God instead of the adversaries (4:14, 20). He had the people working side by side while they were building the wall (chapter 3). He spent much time in prayer on their behalf. If we spend our time and energy doing these same three things, we can be sure that we are being an advocate instead of an adversary.

Perhaps the greatest motivation to never tear down is what ultimately happened in the book of Nehemiah. Sanballat, Tobiah, and Geshem were foiled by God. God “frustrated their plan” (4:15). How satisfying to read how the naysayers reacted when the wall was completed! “And when all our enemies heard of it…[they] fell greatly in their own esteem, for they perceived that this work had been accomplished with the help of our God” (6:16). The NASV reads, “They lost their confidence.” What happened to their bravado?

God promised to build a kingdom that would never be destroyed, and He did (Daniel 2:44; Matthew 16:18).  He is going to protect her from anyone trying to tear her down. God help us see and remove any destructive ways in ourselves.  

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That Perfect Married Couple

By Kathy Pollard

Do you know that perfect married couple?  They look happy together.  They’re always holding hands and seem to have it all figured out.  People look to them for advice.  They’re the hashtag-relationship-goals of social media.  I could name some couples that fall into this category for me.  I’m grateful for their example of marital bliss, and their PDA posts make me smile.

Neal and I are not that perfect married couple.  A superficial glimpse might make it appear that we are.  We do hold hands.  We do say nice things to and about each other on social media.  We’ve been asked to teach the occasional marriage seminar.  And so every now and then someone will remark on our relationship as being “exemplary” or some other thoughtful description.  I thank them because I appreciate their kindness but inwardly I cringe and think, “Far from it.”  We agree to teach about marriage because we can study what God’s Word has to say about it.  After nearly 27 years together, we can share some lessons we’ve learned from experience (some of them the hard way).  But we have had our own struggles and are still learning and growing, one year at a time.  We’ve hurt each other and let each other down.  As a wife, I’ve been guilty of lying, betraying, sulking, and manipulating.  Some of those hurtful things I knew I was doing in the moment.  Some of them I only realized later when I looked back over my behavior.  Our marriage has had rocky times because of the pressures of trials.  And our marriage has had rough patches because of the consequences of our own choices.  We’ve had to practice forgiveness, patience, and grace.  No, we are not that perfect married couple.

But we are a married couple and our God is perfect.

I’ve been reminded of this truth a couple of times this week.  Take a look at these “perfect” couples.

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I met this couple last night.  They got married at ages 15 and 17, and have been married for 55 years.  I asked them separately what has held them together for over half a century, especially since they started out so young.  Without hesitating, each of them said, “God.”  For them, it was as simple as that.  When they were standing together again, I pointed out that they each gave the same one-word answer.  She laughed and said, “Without God, I would’ve kicked him out a long time ago!”  They went on to add other advice, like the importance of giving 100% instead of 50/50 (and making that determination each new day).

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I met this couple two nights ago.  They’ve been married for 67 years!  It didn’t take long to figure out what has held them together.  She told me their first date was at Mammoth Cave.  He nodded and said, “I should’ve left her down there.”  He shared their secret to commitment:  “Divorce never crossed our minds.  Murder did, once or twice, but divorce was never an option.”  We all laughed and they looked at each other with a twinkle in their eyes that gave me a glimpse of the young couple they once were.  I loved their sense of humor and strong faith (made obvious by supporting a gospel meeting on a weeknight).  I imagine 67 years has given them a few stories of hardships and struggles but they are still together, still sharing some laughs, and still holding hands.

These are the real, perfect married couples.  I don’t know them well enough to see beyond the superficial.  But I do know that they’ve entrusted their marriages to their perfect God.  How blessed we are to enjoy life together, find reasons to smile, and keep holding hands despite our imperfections!

Now to Him who is able to do far more abundantly beyond all that we ask or think, according to the power that works within us (Eph. 3:20).

Revive Me #49–See God at Work

Revive Me, Week 49–A Year of Growing Stronger in the Lord

See God at Work

I love the idea of keeping a prayer journal.  At ladies’ Bible class this past week, Anthea Carelse shared how she does hers.  I thought it was so great that I plan to do the same thing.  Instead of coming up with New Year’s resolutions, Anthea spends time creating her prayer journal for the year.  She thinks of and writes down her list of major prayer requests/ concerns.  She adds to it throughout the year.  She said that her favorite part is looking back a few weeks or months later and seeing how many she can cross off the list.  Anthea said that at the end of the year, she looks back over her prayer journal and can clearly see how most of her prayers were answered or in the process of being answered.  How faith building!

Anthea’s idea is a great one because it’s a reminder to see God at work.  When we do that, we will be more thankful for His love and attention.  We can always grow in our faith and in our gratitude.  Acknowledging answered prayers is an easy way to do that.

And this is the confidence that we have toward Him, that if we ask anything according to His will He hears us. And if we know that He hears us in whatever we ask, we know that we have the requests that we have asked of Him.

–1 John 5:14,15

“Leave it all in the Hands that were wounded for you”

(Elisabeth Elliot)

Suggestions for the Week:

  1.  Purchase a spiral bound notebook or pretty journal and be thinking about the specific prayer requests/ concerns you’d like to write down on January 1st.
  2.  Besides building faith and growing gratitude, keeping track of God’s work in your life can also keep complaining and the martyr complex at bay.  What other benefits can you think of that will come from acknowledging answered prayers?
  3.  Read the following verses and note the conditions mentioned for answered prayer:

1 John 5:14,15-

John 15:7-

Matt. 7:7-

Psalm 37:4-

James 5:16-

Luke 18:1-

Read it.  Memorize it.  Live it.

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Image cred: Huffington Post

 

 

Revive Me #47– Give Thanks

Revive Me, Week 47–A Year of Growing Stronger in the Lord

Give Thanks

“No duty is more urgent than that of returning thanks.”

(unknown)

“Be thankful” (Col. 3:15; 4:2).  “Give thanks to Him and praise His name” (Psa. 100:4).

When?

  • In all circumstances- 1 Thess. 5:18
  • In all that you say and do- Col. 3:17
  • In every situation- Phil. 4:6
  • Always and for everything- Eph. 5:20
  • Forever- Psa. 30:12

Why?

  • For God is good and His love endures forever- 1 Chron. 16:34; Psa. 106:1
  • Because it is God’s will for you- 1 Thess. 5:18
  • For the Lord is the great God, the great King- Psa. 95:2,3
  • Because of the kingdom- Heb. 12:28
  • Because everything God created is good- 1 Tim. 4:4
  • Because of grace- 2 Cor. 4:15
  • Because of the generosity of others- 2 Cor. 9:11
  • Because it is good-Psa. 92:1
  • Because of all of the Lord’s wonderful deeds- Psa. 9:1,2
  • Because God answers- Psa. 118:21
  • Because the one who does it glorifies God- Psa. 50:23

Expressing thanks should be easy for the Christian.  We are most blessed!  Have a wonderful Thanksgiving, readers.  May the Lord bless you and your loved ones as you continue to live for Him.

Suggestions for the Week:

  1.  Memorize Psalm 100
  2.  Send handmade cards expressing thanks for several individuals who may feel unappreciated, unnoticed, or taken for granted.
  3.  Makes sure your daily prayers overflow with thanksgiving.
  4. Create a list of specific things to be thankful for.  Post it in a prominent place and add to it daily.

Read it.  Memorize it.  Live it.

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Revive Me #42–Lift Your Eyes

Revive Me, Week 42–A Year of Growing Stronger in the Lord

Lift Your Eyes

I will lift up my eyes to the hills—
From whence comes my help?
My help comes from the Lord,
Who made heaven and earth.

He will not allow your foot to be moved;
He who keeps you will not slumber.
Behold, He who keeps Israel
Shall neither slumber nor sleep.

The Lord is your keeper;
The Lord is your shade at your right hand.
The sun shall not strike you by day,
Nor the moon by night.

The Lord shall preserve you from all evil;
He shall preserve your soul.
The Lord shall preserve your going out and your coming in
From this time forth, and even forevermore.

(Psalm 121)

This psalm has been a favorite of mine for as long as I can remember.  It’s a beautiful reminder of God’s care.  When you’re hurting, lift your eyes to the One who wants to help you.  When you’re afraid of what lies ahead, remember your Protector.

How easy it is to feel alone!  How quickly I become overwhelmed.  “I will lift up my eyes.”  God is there.  He is helping, keeping, shading, and preserving ME.  The God of heaven and earth watches over ME.

“We have no power against this great multitude that is coming against us; nor do we know what to do, but our eyes are upon You” (2 Chron. 20:12).

Sometimes I need a reminder to lift my eyes.

Suggestions for the Week:

  1.  Memorize Psalm 121.
  2.  Read Psalm 123:1 and Isa. 40:26.
  3.  Think of examples of those in the Bible who looked up in their distress.

Read it.  Memorize it.  Live it.

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Revive Me #23– Be Amazed

Revive Me, Week 23– A Year of Growing Stronger in the Lord

Be Amazed

It’s Monday and perhaps your to-do list is a long one.   Or you’re feeling a little overwhelmed or overburdened.  Perhaps you picked up a few extra cares recently.  Or maybe you just don’t feel that great.  Sometimes life lacks luster.  If you didn’t greet this new day feely sunny and inspired, remember this one truth:  Our God is an awesome God.

“Great is our Lord and abundant in strength; His understanding is infinite.”

(Psalm 147:5)

This one verse alone invigorates me.  When I feel inadequate, I need to remember that our God is great.  When I feel drained, I must remember to lean on God’s abundant strength.  Basically, I need to stop focusing on myself and start focusing on my God.  Then I will be amazed!

I am amazed when I look to God because:

  • He has done wonderful things- Psalm 98:1
  • He alone works wonders- Psalm 72:18
  • His doings are marvelous- Psalm 118:23
  • His plans are carried out with perfect faithfulness- Isaiah 25:1

I see God’s wonderful, marvelous things in creation, in His providence, and in His love and grace.  When I remember to look for these things, I am amazed.

When men looked to the Son of God, they were amazed.  He amazed a governor (Matt. 27:14), crowds (Matt. 7:28,29), the Pharisees (Matt. 22:22), the disciples (Mark 10:24), and many others.  They heard what Jesus said and saw what He did.  I need to remember to stay in the Word to be amazed again by what my Lord said and did.

“On the glorious splendor of Your majesty and on Your wonderful works, I will meditate.”

(Psalm 145:5)

You can be amazed today.  You woke up.  Your great God loves you.  You have purpose.  You can look for opportunities to glorify God.  You are surrounded by people who need to know God so they, too, can be amazed.

Suggestions for the week:

  1.  Look up the Scriptures listed above about people being amazed by Jesus.  Note what specific thing He said or did that had them in awe.  Is it something you can be in awe of now?
  2.  Be aware of God’s greatness.  Look around you.  What do you see?  Nature?  Family?  A home to take care of?  Neighbors?  Your Bible?
  3.  Meditate this week on verses that have to do with the marvelous things of God.
  4.  Sing about it.  “I Stand Amazed,” “How Great Thou Art,” “Our God is an Awesome God,” and “We Bow Down” are some good ones.

Read it.  Memorize it.  Live it.

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Revive Me #4, Know Your Father Better

Revive Me, Week Four–A Year of Drawing Closer to Our Lord

Know Your Father Better

I own a book called “Staying Close–Stopping the Natural Drift Toward Isolation.”  It’s about the fact that couples can drift apart without realizing it.  Because of busy schedules, new interests, etc., couples need to put effort into staying close, or they may wake up one day wondering how they turned into strangers.

When it comes to your relationship with God, there may be times when it feels like He is a stranger.  Perhaps He feels far away or removed from your life.  It may seem hard to feel close to a God you can’t “see.”  Or perhaps your communication with Him has been stagnant.  Your prayers have become a matter of routine.  You no longer crave His Word.

“Staying Close” encourages couples to intentionally renew their acquaintance with each other on a regular basis.  Surely it’s a good idea for Christians to intentionally renew their acquaintance with the Father.  God never changes (Mal. 3:6), but we do.  God never moves away from us, but we can drift away from Him (Psa. 145:18,19; Heb. 2:1).

Spend some time this week getting to know your Father better.  You may have known Him for most of your life, but focusing on Who He is will remind you why you love Him.

“Draw near to God and He will draw near to you”  (James 4:8).

Suggestions for the week:

  • Read the following passages and write down what you learn about your Father (from a-z!):

a.  Exodus 34:5,6-

b.  Numbers 23:19-

c.  Deut. 3:24-

d.  Deut. 4:24-

e.  Deut. 4:31-

f.  Deut. 10:17-

g.  Deut. 33:27-

h.  Josh. 1:9-

i.  2 Sam. 22:32,33-

j.  2 Chron. 30:9-

k.  Psa. 62:7,8-

l.  Psa. 68:19,20-

m.  Psa. 84:11,12-

n.  Psa. 103-

o.  Psa. 116:5-

p.  Isa. 40:28-

q. Micah 7:18,19-

r.  Matt. 19:26-

s.  Acts 10:34-

t.  1 Cor. 1:9-

u.  1 Cor. 10:13-

v.  1 Cor. 14:33-

w. 1 Pet. 1:15

x.  2 Pet. 3:9-

y.  1 John 1:5-

z.  1 John 4:7-9-

  • Pray to your Father about knowing Him better and allowing that knowledge to shape your relationship with Him.

Pray it.  Memorize it.  Live it.

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